Don't Think Just Jump
by Fourtris Eaton
Summary: What would happen is Tris didn't die after getting shot? What happens if Tobias doesn't have to spend forever alone? This is what this story is. I needed a happy ending, and I figured you did too. New Chapters every Thursday.
1. Chapter 1

"**Where's Tris?"**

I had been shot. And I was floating in and out of consciousness the entire way to the same place they were keeping Uriah. I kept hearing commands and bright lights when my eyes would open. They were too bright. So I closed them. I had seen my mother. I was ready to die. I had come to terms with how my life was going to end. I was going to go the same way my mother and father did. I had sacrificed myself to save my brother. I had sacrificed myself to save my friends and family that were still inside of the city.

Like Christina who had gone with the others to inoculate her mother and sister to save them from the Memory serum in the case that I failed. And I failed. Didn't I? I failed everyone. I failed _him. _At least…before I went into the room, I told Caleb what to say. That I didn't want to leave him. Because I didn't. It was the hardest decision I had ever made in my life. Harder than leaving him in the middle of the night to go to the Erudite headquarters and sacrifice myself to save everyone else.

Life is full of little choices. And those choices affect everyone around you, whether or not you know them personally. Ever since the day I let my blood fall into the Dauntless bowl at the Choosing Ceremony, my choice there sent motion to everything that has led me to this moment. To my death.

I don't know much longer I can hold on. I'm so tired. I'm so…

So….

So…

Tired.

It's quiet here. No, not quiet. There's a beeping somewhere. Is it next to my head? I fight to open my eyes, but my lids are incredibly heavy. Death shouldn't be so uncomfortable, right? I try to say something, anything, but my mouth is so dry and there's a lump in my throat that I can't seem to swallow past. I turn my head as much as I can and my heart jumps in my chest. I hear the beeps react with me. My heart still works…I guess that means I didn't die.

Tobias' head is angled back against the uncomfortable chair he's sleeping in. I know it's uncomfortable because I sat in that chair when we went to see Uriah. I can't imagine sleeping in it. And it looks like he hadn't been doing much of that. There are dark circles under his eyes. I don't know how long I have been here, but I'm sure the second they got back…he's probably angry with me. But did he expect anything else of me? I couldn't just let Caleb die. As angry as I was with him, I couldn't let him sacrifice himself. He was my brother.

I didn't think that I would see Tobias ever again. That my last goodbye was watching him head back to the city we had spent so long trying to escape. And there he was…less than three feet away from me and I can't even reach him. I don't even notice that I have started crying until I hear the sob escape past the lump in my throat.

He jerks up in the chair and he looks at me. Our eyes lock, but I partially believe that this is a dream because he can't really be sitting there, can he? But then he moves to me, so quickly that I don't have time to react, and his head is resting gently on my stomach, his hands enclosing my own. I see his shoulders rise and fall and I don't realize he's crying until he lifts his head and looks at me.

"Hey," I say weakly, offering a lame smile. A smile that I know will do no good considering my current situation. And when he smiles at me, I think that I am off the hook, but I know better.

"Hey?" He asks, with a soft smile of his own. Even though he's mad at me, I have a feeling that the relief that I've opened my eyes outweighs everything else.

I bite my lower lip and then remember that my mouth is dry. "Can I have-"

He doesn't give me a chance to finish; he's pulling away from me to grab the water on the table next to the bed. He puts it to my lips and I swallow eagerly. It helps…it really helps.

"Better?" he asks, setting the water down. I nod. "So…"

I interrupt him. "How long was I out?"

He narrows his eyes at me, but answers my question anyway. "Nearly a week." I wince. I can't imagine being in his position. I've put him in situations where he's almost lost me, more times than I care to admit. I look away from him.

"I'm sorry," I tell him. Because I don't know what else to say. "I didn't have a choice. I couldn't just let Caleb die."

"I know."

This makes me look at him. I was expecting a reprimand or something from him, telling me that I should have stuck to the plan. I should have waited. But we both knew that there was no time to wait. No time to figure something else out. His hands are in mine again, and I welcome the warmth. He looks at me for a moment before he leans down, pressing his mouth to mine. I kiss him back and sigh when he pulls away. I didn't think I would get a chance to do that again. And the tears are back. He lifts one hand to wipe his thumb across my cheek and I smile at him. I move to scoot over in the bed, to make room for him, so that he's not uncomfortable in the chair, but his hand is on my waist, stopping me.

"Lay down, Tobias," I tell him as sternly as I can. But there's not much you can do when you've been out for a week and probably look like death warmed over.

"I'm fine," he says, shaking his head.

I narrow my eyes at him. "This isn't me being selfless right now," I tell him. "I'm being selfish. I need you to lay down with me."

His eyes soften when he looks at me and stands, picking me up before getting on the bed and setting me down so that our bodies are parallel to each other. His body is warm against mine and I look up at him, my eyes settling in on his face. He's looking down at me presses his lips to my head.

"What happened with everyone?" I ask him, but he shakes his head. "Did it not work? Did they release the serum?"

He shakes his head and rubs my back. "No. It's fine. Everything's fine," he says. "We can talk about it later."

"But-"

"I just got you back, Tris," he tells me. "Let me just lay here with you for a few more hours before you interrogate me, okay?"

His tone is joking, but I know he's being serious. I won't fight him on this. I like the quiet, steady heartbeat that I hear with my head resting against his chest. I close my eyes, letting it lull to me sleep.

**A/N: Okay. So it's probably shit. But I like it. And it's Fourtris. So let me just be happy and share this with you guys. Let me know if you want me to do it like Allegiant and switch off POV. I can ATTEMPT to pull it off, but don't know how awesome it will be.**


	2. Chapter 2

**TOBIAS**

They wouldn't let her leave for another week. She had multiple gunshot wounds and her body was still recuperating. They wanted to know that she was going to be okay when they finally released her. I knew they were right, and I knew that Tris knew they were right. But that didn't stop her from throwing a fit when they told her she couldn't leave just yet. During that time, I told her what went down in Chicago, with my parents, with Johanna, and what happened here. It was still going to take time to get used to everything, but we had that time.

When she wasBut just to be safe, even after the doctor's checked her off, I wasn't going to let her off easy. I wasn't going to let her just stroll out of here without a second thought. That's why I had Caleb bring me a wheelchair.

"I'm perfectly fine," She says even as I force her into the wheelchair. "I can walk out of here on my own."

"You're still healing," I tell her, resting my hands on her shoulders, trying to make her feel better. But I know better so when she opens her mouth to argue with me, I beat her to it. "You were shot, Tris."

"You think I don't know that?" She asks, folding my arms across her chest. I sigh and move around the chair, kneeling down so that we're eye to eye. "Can you for once, let me be the guy in the relationships and take care of you?"

Her eyes soften and I think I've won. "No."

I smirk at her answer, but then lean forward to press my lips to hers. It's a soft, but hungry kiss. We haven't been able to do much of it with her in the hospital, what with people coming in and out at all hours checking up on her and checking up on me, making sure that I was eating and taking care of myself as well as Tris. They hovered. Before all this, I would been annoyed because as a member of Dauntless, I didn't need people to take care of me. But now? Things were different. _I _was different. _Tris_ made me different. And I was better for it.

Kissing Tris in front of everyone wasn't something I liked to do. I didn't feel the need to share that with other people. Though there were times when I just couldn't help myself. I pulled away after a few moments and looked at her, a smile on my lips.

"Fine," she says with a sigh, sitting back in the chair. "Be the guy."

I grin at her and stand, moving to the back of the chair and started rolling her down the hallway, which in the last couple of weeks, had been more busy since everyone that worked at the Bureau had been hit the with memory reset. They still worked for the government, so we couldn't really do anything about them. But as for the rest of us that survived…we were just sticking around because we could.

I had Christina stay with Tris yesterday so that I could find Tris and I our own room in the hotel instead of just hanging out in the dorms. I didn't know how long we were going to be here, but I wanted a place of our own. I hit the button on the elevator and wheeled her inside, hitting the button for the second fifth floor.

"Where are we going?" She asks looking up at me. "Aren't the dorm-"

"Yes…but that's not where we're going."

"Then where?"

"Are you going to let me be the guy or what?"

She smiles, and I smile with her. When the doors open, I push her out and make a left going down the hallway until we reach the room. I pick her up out of the chair before shoving the door open and carrying her past the threshold. "What are you doing?"

I don't answer, instead I just close the door with my foot and carry her to the bed, setting her down so that she's resting against the pillows. "Good?" I ask. "You good?"

She nods, her eyes scrutinizing me, trying to figure out what I'm up to. "What is this?"

I look around before turning back to her and meeting her eyes. "Our room."

"Our…_what_?"

I move to sit next to her on the bed. "Our _room_," I repeat. "I figured that we should have one. For just us, that is. We're always surrounded by people," I pause and take her hand in mine, lacing our fingers together with a smile. "Not that that's a bad thing necessarily, but you know, sometimes I just want you to myself."

She smiles at me and looks at me. "When did you decide this?"

"Since you woke up and then we were promptly interrupted by everyone," I say. "I don't blame them. They hadn't seen you for a week and everyone was excited that you woke up. Me, more than anyone." She squeezes my hand and I rest my head against hers, closing my eyes. I didn't know if she was going to be okay. I didn't know if she was going to survive. Most of the people that I knew that had been shot with guns were done for. That was it. They were gone. But the Bureau had access to technology and drugs that helped. Although the "United States Government" or whatever they were had decide to do these experiments that controlled who we were and what we did with our lives…I would be forever grateful to them because they had saved her.

It was worse than when she went to Erudite because this time, I had been given hope that she was going to wake up. And If she didn't…I probably would have taken the reset serum for myself. Meeting Tris and getting to know her, changed everything about me. And losing her…it would destroy me.

"I'm sorry," she tells me. I open my eyes and shake my head. "I know what I put you through when I did this in Chicago. I wish that I could promise you that I'll stop putting myself in danger to save the people I love, but I can't do that."

"I know," I say. Because I do. She and I are the same. We will risk everything to protect those we care about. Even if it means putting ourselves in danger. That's what different about her. That's the Abnegation part of us. Even when we don't want it, our factions still exist within us. I kiss her. "I know."


	3. Chapter 3

**TRIS**

I woke to a cold bed and the emptiness made me nervous. I sat up and looked around the dark room. "Tobias?" I call out pushing the covers off of me and swing my legs over the edge of the bed. They find a soft surface and I stand using the table next to the bed. I wince, the wounds still tender in some spots. Something that I didn't want to admit to Tobias, though it was something that I was sure he already knew. The bathroom door opens and Tobias steps out with a towel wrapped around his waist. Sometimes I forget just how beautiful he is…and then he walks in looking like that. I lick my lips and force my eyes back up at his face. He is smirking at me.

"What are you doing up?" he asks me, slowly making his way toward me. I lift my shoulders in a shrug and then wince again. Yeah…getting up probably wasn't the best choice of the night. He comes at me and places his hands on my hips and I look up at him. "How are you feeling?"

I place my hands on his chest, because I don't know where to put them. "I feel fine," I say. "For almost dying, I'm super."

"I'm not liking the sarcasm," he says, and I make a face when he kisses my head. "You hungry?"

At the thought of food, my stomach makes a noise and I nod. "Starving," I tell him with a smile before sitting back down on the bed with a sigh. "Though you should probably get the wheelchair because I probably wouldn't make it down there on my own."

He grins at me before moving to the counter and producing two muffins from a bag. I smile at the memory of the two of us in the dorms and me pinching off pieces of his muffin instead of getting my own. He should be glad that he brought two. "We actually don't need to go anywhere for a bit," he tells me with a smirk. "I've got us set up for at least a few days. I don't want to leave until they really need us, too," he says me handing me one of the muffins. I take it gratefully and pinch off a bit from the top before popping it in my mouth. "If they do end up needing us, they'll know where to find us. And if we need to get anything else, I'll just go while you're sleeping."

"Someone's feeling a bit greedy," I tease him.

"I think have a right to be a little greedy," He takes a bit of his own muffin before sitting down on the bed next to me. "What would you like to do today?"

"I don't know," I tell him. Part of me wants to be active and do something with my day, but the other part of me hurts and doesn't want to share Tobias with anyone else. At least right now. Like Tobias said, I had a right to be greedy. But I knew that I couldn't milk almost dying for as long as I wanted to. I had things to do. _We_ had things to do. There were people that we needed to see and plans that we needed to make. I do miss Christina though and I feel a little guilty that I haven't spent more time with her since waking up. She's my best friend and after everything we've been through, I feel like I owe it to her to spend time with her. She deserved at least that. And then there was Caleb. I had seen Caleb only a few times since I opened my eyes. He was mad at me, too, but he knew that that was just the type of person I was. He understood why I did why I did, but like Tobias, he wasn't happy that I had made that decision after he had already decided to sacrifice himself to set off the serum. And strangely, I also wanted to see Peter. I had heard about what went down in the city and what he had said about not wanting to be that person anymore, and it was…interesting. It wasn't something that I expected to come from him, especially after everything that we'd experienced with him in the past. So, I was kind of curious to see what he would be like without all of that evil in him. Or if that part of him was how he was raised of if it was the genetic defect that had caused him to be an ass. I take another bite. "What about you?" I ask, turning to look at him.

"Honestly?" he asks. I nod. "I just want to enjoy this. Enjoy our time. I didn't think we would have time to be together like this. That we would get a chance to actually sit and relax." I look at him and nod. "We've been running for so long that it's nice to just be here. I don't have to worry about anything else for the time being except you."

I smile and lift my hand to rest on the side of his face. He closes his eyes and takes a breath. I lean forward and kiss him, inhaling his scent and resting my head against his when I break the kiss. "I'm fine," I tell him, looking up so that my eyes meet his. "You don't need to worry about me. I'm just a little sore."

He smirks, because he knows that I know that wasn't what he meant. I had a bad habit of getting myself into situations that any normal person should have avoided. But I wasn't normal, Matthew had told us that when he tested our genes. I was what the government considered _better _than normal. I was Genetically Pure. Even the sound of the words left a bitter taste in my mouth. The way that people were classified out here…was it any better than the way that we were categorized in the city? In the city if someone killed someone else, that was an offense. Out here, if a GP killed a GD, it wouldn't be classified as being as bad as if a GD killed a GP. They weren't worth much out here. The "United States Government" operated under a completely different level of "acceptable" than what I was used to. And considering the way that the faction system was run, that was saying a lot about the Bureau and the government.

And because of that, I didn't know how long we could stay here. I didn't know if I wanted to go back to the city. But whatever we did, it was _our_ choice. We didn't have people deciding things for us anymore. That was no longer an option. The only people who were going to decide the future that Tobias and I were going to have was us. I turn away from him to set my muffin down on the table before slowly unbuttoning the shirt that I had on. I let it fall away before turning back to look at him.

His eyes are on mine and he copies my movements, putting his muffin down next to mine before drawing me in against him. My hands on his shoulders as he presses his mouth to mine and I kiss him eagerly, pressing myself as close as I can to him. The heat radiating from his body and into mine is a sensation that I know quite well. "I love you," I say when his lips move to my neck, trailing kisses down my collarbone.

"I love you," he says before laying me down on the bed.

**A/N: So I'm not going to do sex unless I get told to do it. But yay for 3 chapters! I hope you guys like it!**


	4. Chapter 4

**TOBIAS**

As much as we wanted to, being cooped up in a room for so long would drive anyone crazy. Especially when it was Tris and myself. We were active people. We were Dauntless. We couldn't just sit around and wait for things to happen. And although I had run into a few people while sneaking out when Tris slept to go get more food and supplies to keep us busy, it wasn't good enough just to leave for a few moments. We leave the room early in the morning, hoping that we could sneak around with anyone stopping us to ask us where we were going or what we were up to. I didn't even know what we were up to. We just needed to stretch our legs, and whatever followed, followed.

We left the room, without the chair, because Tris insisted that she was fine. And as cooped up as I had been feeling, she definitely had it worse. Between the infirmary and the room, Tris more than anyone needed to get some fresh air. We weren't in danger anymore, from what I've seen and heard anyway. We were okay.

We turn to go down the hallway to the elevator and I paused before pushing the button down. Tris looks at me, her eyes full of excitement and life. I had to keep reminding myself that she was fine and that she was okay. That would come back to bite me in the ass later on because I knew that Tris was going to continue to tell me that she was okay. I was just worried that she would tell me she was fine even when she's not. Someone had to keep an eye on her. "Stairs?" I ask. We were only on the fifth floor, so it wouldn't be too bad, plus we'd be going down anyway. She grins at me and nods before heading for the door to the stairway.

We jog down, and I watch her, to make sure that she's fine and she sees me, scowling. "Don't baby me, Four," she says in that tone of hers. My eyes narrow and I scowl right back at her. "Don't push yourself, Six," I tell her. She rolls her eyes and then picks up the pace heading down the stairs and when we reach the bottom floor, she pushes the door open and turns to look at me.

"Are you sure you can keep up?" she asks me. I can't help but laugh. "You think I'm kidding?"

"Tris," I say shaking my head. "I've always been able to keep up with you," I tell her raising my eyebrows at her before jogging down the hallway to the front doors of the hotel and outside. It's snowing outside and dark, but the sun coming was coming up in the east and I take a deep breath.

"I don't think I've ever appreciated snow," she tells me. I look at her and nod. I feel the same way. In the city, weather was just weather and jobs were just jobs. Things were different now and every little thing that happened, I was grateful for it. She smiles at me and stands on her toes kissing me and I wrap my arms around her.

"Where do you want to go?" I ask her. She bites her lip, deciding and I brush her hair behind her ear before dropping my hands, letting them rest on her hips. "Anywhere you want. I stole some keys earlier."

She laughs and I grin with her. Everything about her had infected me, and I wasn't sure that she realized just how much that was true. I was doing nothing with my life before she jumped. The first jumper. I knew she was special the moment I saw the clothes on her back. She was different. And with those stern, insistent eyes, in those first few moments, I hadn't even realized that everything was going to change. With Tris, with her way of thinking, she made me better.

"The city?" Her voice intrudes my thoughts and I am curious to her decision. We were starting new, but we couldn't ever let our past go. Our factions would follow us wherever we went. And before, when we originally found out about the experiments I would have not been okay with that. We were watched our whole lives and manipulated and lied to, but it was what made us who we are. We didn't know we were being watched. But we were still those people by default. They didn't tell us who to be or what faction to choose. That was just who we were. "I want to be somewhere that I know."

I nod, knowing the feeling. I wanted the room here for us, but it wasn't really the same. I couldn't escape the feeling that we didn't belong there. That _I _didn't belong there. The only place that I knew I truly belonged was with Tris. I pull the keys out of the pocket and we head toward the truck before we start the drive back to the city. I wasn't nervous about being back so soon after leaving. The city, even with all the horrible things that we had seen and experienced and deaths we tried to stop, it was still home. The ride was silent, my hand was in hers and I was content. We didn't always have to talk, because sometimes words just weren't enough.

After we got through the gate, I stopped train tracks and got out. She followed with a smirk on her lips. This train would always be important to us. It was part of who we were. We made it right as it was heading down the line and I started running after it, grabbing the handle and hitting the button to open the door and turned to look back at Tris, looking more alive than I'd seen her in past weeks. I held my and out and when she took it, I pulled her up and swung her through the open door before following suit. Her cheeks were red, but the smile on her face said it all. I was sure that my face matched hers. I leaned against the side of the car and took a breath before she came to join me.

"Is it bad to say that I've missed this?" I ask gesturing to the passing buildings that we were speeding past.

She shakes her head at me. "No," she says. "I missed it too."


	5. Chapter 5

**TRIS**

When we got closer to the Dauntless compound, I hit the button next to the train door, causing it to open again. I look at Tobias and smile. "Together?" I ask him. He nods at me and we step back in the train before taking three long strides and jump over the gap between rail and building, rolling onto the roof with a thud. The snow makes the gravel stick to my clothes and I run my fingers through my hair before turning to look at Tobias who is already on his feet.

We head to the edge of the building together and I look down. "Do you want to jump first or should I?" I ask. He grins at me.

"I'll go," he says, taking a breath before stepping onto the ledge of the building before closing his eyes and falling, disappearing from view. He didn't take a second to think about it, and even if he had, it would have been like the Ferris wheel and he would have done it anyway, but he would have been hard on him.

I grin as I watch him fall and then I flash back to months before when I stood here in front of the rest of the initiates, transfers as well as Dauntless. I had been so cautious then, wanting to prove to everyone that I wasn't just some Stiff. Choose Dauntless changed my entire world, but I wouldn't have changed a thing. This decision snowballed and it brought me here, to this place, to Tobias. I went through so many trials…some worse than others, but I survived. I survived initiation; I survived multiple attempts on my life. But the only thing that mattered was that I was alive.

I took a few moments to give him enough time to get off of the net before I prepare to jump. I climb up and stand on the ledge of the building. I look down and take a breath before I step over and let myself drop. The fall makes my heart fly up in my throat, but I'm laughing as the net catches me and I bounce up into the air. Once I'm still, I feel the tug of the net and I'm rolling toward Tobias and my breath catches in my throat. This is where I first saw him. This is the moment that changes everything.

He notices it too because his eyes are locked on mine and I reach out my hand for his. He takes it and the warmth spreads through me. He grabs me by my hips and sets me on the ground in front of him. I don't move my eyes from his face because I can't. He's looking at me, not in the curious, fascinated way, he looked at me the first time I saw him. When he helped me off the net all those months ago, I didn't know who he was…I didn't know the first thing about him, but he was someone that was going to be a part of my new life as a member of Dauntless.

There's a smile on my lips as I look at him and he grins back pulling me against him in a quick motion, his lips pressing against my own in a heated, hungry kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck and press against him. I don't know how long we stood there, embraced, our bodies as one. I pull away first, because I need to breath and I rest my hands on his chest, pushing him slightly away. Not because I'm afraid of the intimacy. It's because I'm afraid that I wouldn't be able to let him go. I'm no longer afraid to be intimate with him; I lost that fear a long time ago.

He looks down at me, looking a bit breathless himself and I bite my lower lip, brushing my hair out of my face. "Sorry, I just…" I trail off and meet his eyes. "I had to stop myself."

He smirks and hops off of the platform before he turns to me and I follow suit, jumping into his arms. "Thank you," I tell him before kissing his cheek and hopping onto the ground.

"How are you feeling?" Tobias asks me. I shrug. I was a little sore when I woke up this morning but strangely after running today and the train and then jumping off of the roof, I felt better than I had ever felt before.

I grin at him. "I feel great," I admit. And I'm not lying. There is something about this place that feels like home. I don't know why, I wasn't even living here that long and most of the time I was living in fear for what Peter or any of the other initiates were going to try to pull. But in the short time that I had with Tobias here…he made it feel like home. He made this place livable. "What do you want to do first?" I ask. The compound was quiet and empty. It was strange being back here, but I was glad that we were alone. I looked at him and starting heading down the corridor to Tobias' place. He comes up behind me and takes my hand and I look up at him.

"I think that you should go shower…find some clean clothes and then meet me back here," he says with a smile.

I look up at him. "What are you going to do?"

He shrugs. "I'm probably going to see If I can scrounge up some food," Tobias says. "I'm starving. But also I have to keep away from the bathrooms while you're showering because I might end up having a hard time keeping away from you."

I stop, blushing before I look up at him. "What?" I ask him, my eyes wide as I stare at him. "Are you being serious?"

He grins at me and pushes me up against the wall, his hands trailing down my sides. "Deadly serious," he says, his lips on my jaw. My heart is beating fast. Sure, I'm not afraid to be intimate with him, but I didn't mean I wasn't nervous about it. We had only spent the night together the one time back at the Bureau. I bite my lower lip and sigh, placing my hands on his sides. His lips find mine again and I kiss him, my hands gripping the fabric of his shirt, pulling him in against me. I moan against his lips and then he pulls away, grinning at me. "I'll meet you back at my room," he says, before jogging down the hall and leaving my view.

I stand there for a few seconds, glaring at his retreating figure. Of course he would do that. Not that I wanted to have sex in the middle of the compound; that would _not_ be comfortable at all. But it was smart. Rude, and teasing, but smart. I shake my head as I head toward the dorms.


	6. Chapter 6

**TOBIAS**

I leave her to go to the showers as I head to the kitchens to see if there's anything left to eat. I'm sure there will be, not a lot of the other factions knew how to get into the compound and even if they did I wasn't sure they would want to make the jump. I didn't, my first time on that roof. Walking away from Tris was difficult, but we would have time for that later.

Being back in the compound felt weird, but strangely comforting. I had never been here when it was so quiet, even after my first few days after my own Choosing Ceremony, I had never had a place that felt more like home to me. After leaving the dorms, after initiation, after beating our Eric which made him hate me more than he already did, I had my own place in the compound, where no one else could go. That had been new to me as well. Back in Abnegation, I had always cowered in fear with Marcus around. There was no escape. But I had done it. I had gotten away from Marcus and he was no longer a threat to me. But he would still be there, I'm sure, in my fear landscape if I injected myself with the serum and hooked myself up to the simulator. He would always be there.

After getting a few things and cooking up two hamburgers…thankfully they were still good in the ice box, headed back up to the room that I had claimed as my own two years ago. I set the food down on the desk before heading to my drawers and getting out a clean shirt and pants. I pulled my shirt over my head and wiped the fabric over my face and rubbed it over my hair before tossing it aside. I change into the clean clothes and look up when the door opens and Tris enters carrying a duffel bag. She sees my gaze and drops the bag with a shrug.

"Extra clothes," she tells me. "For when we go back. _If_ we go back," she adds, biting her lip. "How'd you do?"

I nod and walk to the desk handing her a plate. "Hamburgers," I say. "Surprisingly there was actually some left, so that was a bonus." She takes the plate from me and grins. "Happy?"

She laughs. "It's just like my first day," she says moving to sit down on the bed. She takes a bite and I follow her, sitting down next to her. She swallows. "Except you know, my first day I was terrified at the thought of spending any time alone with you."

I can't help but smile. "Really?" I ask.

She nods. "Yeah," she tells me. "You were kind of terrifying," she pauses. "I didn't really know what to think of you. You were so intense all of the time and I just…I was a little nervous to be with you. But the day you touched my stomach in training, I was torn. I didn't know what to think anymore. You were so on all the time, but there were parts of you that I felt were slipping through when you were with me."

I take a bite and think of a response while I chew. "It was my job to be terrifying," I say. "Well, no, my job was to get the initiates through training and I wasn't supposed to go easy on any of you." I had taken the job of training the transfers because I needed something to do. And I was the best, so turning it down to work the control room would have raised some questions with Max and especially with Eric. And I couldn't turn it down with Eric always there, watching, trying to figure out if I would mess up, just so that he could be there. He always wanted me to fail. Ever since our initiation year, where I beat him out, he had been jealous, doing anything he could to make my life miserable.

"You probably weren't supposed to fall in love with any of them either," she says wrinkling her nose at me.

I laugh. "No, no I wasn't," I say. "That was definitely not part of my job description. And then you kept standing up to Eric like you had a death wish, so I felt like it was my job to look after you."

"Which it wasn't-"

I cut her off. "But I did. Ever since I help you off of the net, I knew there was something different about you and I couldn't help but think about you. The Stiff had jumped first, was my first thought and I instantly knew that you were different." I hadn't told her this before. I hadn't told her that I she caused me to have different ways of thinking. I had been so set in my Dauntless way of life, where the only thing that mattered to me was surviving and being away from Marcus. Nothing else mattered to me. There was no reason to worry about life or what other people thought of me. When I entered Dauntless things changed and I changed.

She chews in silence for a few moments, as I'm sure I've embarrassed her or something and after she's done, she sets the plate down, looking up at me with her chin tilted up and I sigh. I shouldn't have said anything. "What else haven't you told me?"

I lick my lips and stand, grabbing her plate and tossing it into the trash before turning to look at her, leaning up against the desk. I watch her, the shy smile on her lips, the blush that has crept up on her cheeks. It's in moments like this where her age shows and I remember why I had fallen in love with her. She wasn't just the brave Divergent girl who stood up to the Erudite leaders and led the revolution in the city. She was just Beatrice Prior, a sixteen year old girl who just wanted to live. She runs her fingers through her hair and I fold my arms across my chest. "I had seen you before you jumped," I admit. "At school; in Abnegation. Places that didn't even mean anything to me before coming here." She moves from the bed and comes toward me. "You were the one thing I had never expected."

She takes my hands and laces our fingers together, looking up at me. I meet her gaze and press my lips to her head.


	7. Chapter 7

**TRIS**

I lean in and rest my head against his chest and we just stand there for a few moments before moving. It's nice here. I don't have to worry about anyone bothering us. I don't have to worry about making plans for fighting or learning new strategies. I have time to myself. I have time alone with Tobias. We had spent nearly the past two weeks, just us, but I couldn't ever stop myself. I would never get enough time with him. He said that I had changed him, but he was the one who changed me. I don't think I could have been brave enough without him standing beside me.

I pull him with him as head toward the bed and push him down onto the bed before joining him. I lay next to him, my head on his chest, his arm around my back, holding him against me. I take a deep breath and look up at him. He's already looking down at me, his lip curled up in his signature smile and I lift my hand to brush my fingers across his lips. He kisses my fingers tips and my free hand wraps his shirt between my fingers and I use it to pull myself up to press my lips against his.

The kiss is soft, and he is patient with me. He has always been patient with me and that was one of the many things that I loved about him. Tobias was the person that I was going to spend forever with and no one was going to take that away from. Even if we got into fights and arguments or got so mad at each other that we wouldn't speak for days, I knew that I could count on him. He moved his hands down to my waist and pulled on top of him so that I was now straddling him and I breathed against his mouth, my lips parting as my grip on his t-shirt became frantic and wanting. I pulled away so that I could pull his shirt over his head, tossing it aside somewhere, I didn't care where honestly. My mind was on other things at the moment. I bite my lower lip and rake my nails down his chest, watching the red marks follow my fingers.

He lets out a slight groan and I lick my lips and look up at him, my heart beating fast in my chest. His eyes are locked on mine, his hands gripping my thighs tightly, holding me in place on top of him. I lift my hands from his chest and pull the black tank top over my head and toss it in the same direction I threw his shirt. His hands move up my body until they rest on my breasts and I take in a breath of air. I close my eyes as his thumbs move over my areolas. I open my eyes and look down at him and he pulls me down to kiss me and I move my hands down to his hair and kiss him hungrily, pressing my body against his, tugging on his lower lip.

He growls at me before flipping me so that my body is flat on the bed and I laugh, running my hands down his back as his lips are on my neck and I am happy. He moves his lips down my chest kissing my skin softly before pulling away from me to tug my pants down my legs and I let out a groan as he presses his body against my own and I feel the heat radiate through my entire body.

He pulls away from me and gets rid of his own pants before pressing his body against me again. I pull him against me and kiss every part of him that I can get to, his neck, shoulder, chest, my hands on his back groaning as he grinds his hips against mine. He looks down at me, for permission? I'm not sure, but I nod at him anyway. I don't know if he thinks that I'll say no or even if he needs my consent. I don't know how many times I can tell him that I'm his always and forever. In every way that a person could be with someone else…and he was mine. I didn't care what anyone else thinks of us, or what they have to say. I didn't care about anyone else anymore. In this moment, all I cared about was Tobias.

He responds to my nod with one of his own before he kisses me again and his hands are pushing my legs apart. I feel the familiar nervousness in my stomach as I brace myself for the impact. I arched up into him as he pushes into me and I let out a groan, lifting my body against him, my nails raking down his back as the pleasure sweeps through my entire body. There was no fear between us anymore. Tobias and I had been through so much together, we had a strong bond and there was nothing to take that way away. I gripped his shoulders, our groans echoing against the concrete of his bedroom. I fell back against the bed, wrapping my legs against his waist, rocking up into him my lips finding his again.

This only being the second time for me, I wonder if he realizes that I won't be able to hold on as long as he probably wanted me to. If anything that I heard was true, I would be able to last longer after a few more times. Because between this and my pent up sexual needs with the way Tobias looks at me, I knew that lasting long wasn't even an option. I would get used to the way he felt inside of me. But for now, I couldn't think straight. He kisses me roughly, and I feel the pleasure spreading as our tongues collide. I curl my toes as I tighten against him, my head fall back against the pillows with a thud, a loud moan escaping my lips and I look up into his eyes, waiting for him to reach the same point.

When we are both done, he pulls from me and lies down beside me, his arm hung around my body, holding me against him. My chest is rising and falling, I'm doing my best to catch my breath and I sigh, content as his lips brush against my shoulder. "I love you," he murmurs against my skin. I smile and move my hand down to lace my fingers with his. Moments like these make me grateful for the technology the Bureau has provided us with. I would not be here if it weren't for them.

"I know."


	8. Chapter 8

**TOBIAS**

I woke up a few hours later with Tris sprawled out on the bed beside me. There wasn't much that I would not do for this girl. I lay there, closing my eyes for a bit, thinking back to the first time that I had seen her. It was at the school, I was leaving Faction History and she was coming in and I avoided her gaze heading to my next class. I hated it there. I move onto the next memory, where I really saw her for the first time. Her falling figure and the determined look on her face was a memory that I would always have with me. And every moment after with her changed everything about me. Even now, her very presence had such an impact on me. I loved everything about her.

I smiled at her dozing figure before leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. She smiled, but shifted, turning over in bed, and I figured she didn't want to get out of bed at the moment and I wasn't going to make her. I reached down, and pulled the covers over her body before getting out of the bed, and pulling my pants on. I turned to look at her, not having moved, before I headed down to the kitchens. I didn't know what else was down there, but she would need something to eat when she woke up, we both would. I didn't go straight to the kitchen since I was feeling a little antsy, and I needed to stretch out my legs. I walked through the compound down to the pit and ran a few laps before I stopped and trained for fifteen minutes with the knives. It felt good to train again. But I had to make sure that I didn't fall into old habits. I didn't need to get into a routine here if we weren't staying long. After the knives I moved to where the punching bags were hanging from the ceiling. I had always liked the bag. It had been a nice way to get my frustrations out when I defected to Dauntless. When I first joined, I had a lot of them. That was no surprise to due to the fact that I had been forced to grow up with an abusive father and my mother having left because she wasn't able to stand up to him. But that was in the past. I had made my amends with Evelyn. But for Marcus, I didn't know if I would ever be able to go down that road with him.

But now? I didn't have as many frustrations as before. It was more me missing the way it felt, the adrenaline pumping through my body. I would probably have to get the truck if I wanted to take a bag with us back to the Bureau. Then again, I didn't know the plan. I didn't know if we were going or if we were staying. And if we were staying, how long? We haven't talked about it, but we would. We would talk about a lot of things. And we could, because we had the time.

I had forgotten about the original plan to bring food back to Tris since I had come down here. I had needed this workout; this release. I don't think I had realized how long I'd been holding in everything that had happened to me…to us, in the past few months. It was a bit of a whirlwind, trying to keep everything intact, to keep the image that I was a good leader. I wasn't thinking of anything else and by the time I pull my hands away, my knuckles are bleeding and I hear footsteps behind him. I turn around and see Tris heading toward me, wearing one of my sweaters and her black pants. She takes one of my hands and examines them, before looking back up at me.

"You good?" she asks me, dropping my hands and biting her lower lip. "You okay?" I nod. "You'd tell me otherwise, right?"

I nod again. "Of course." I understand why she asks that question. Even after we promised to tell each other the truth no matter what, I had kept things from her. Things always got messed up when we weren't honest with each other. "There was just a lot that went down these last months…I never really got a chance to deal with it. Not really."

She smiles at me and places her hand on my cheek and stands on her toes to kiss me. I smile when she pulls away, resting my head against hers. "Are you hungry?" she asks. "I can try to make pancakes."

"Do you _know_ how to cook pancakes?" I ask raising my brows at her. Abnegation ate plain food, minimal taste…minimal seasoning. Pancakes were not something that the Abnegation ever made. It was too self-indulgent. And since she had come to Dauntless we hadn't had pancakes for breakfast. Just meats, eggs, as well as other proteins to bulk up the body. The other Factions ate them on occasion, from what I had heard initiates talk about in the past couple of years.

She shrugs, taking my hand against and leading me to the kitchens. "I can always try, can't I?" she asks. I walk with her, a grin my lips we head into the kitchens. past the mess hall. We past a few stragglers…I wasn't too surprised that there were still people sleeping here, but we ignored them and they ignored us. If anyone had anything to say then we would handle it. She looks up at me and I shrug. "They won't bother us," I say.

We enter the kitchen and I look at her. "Do you know what you need?" I ask. She looks up at me and laughs, shaking her head. It's quiet at first, but then it gets louder and she runs her hands over her face. When she drops her hands, her eyes are bright and her cheeks are red. She is happy and I know that my face matches hers. "Do you just want eggs? Because I can cook a mean egg."

She leans against the counter, pointing at herself. "_I _wanted to cook for you. You made the hamburgers last night," she says. "I can cook…I just wanted to look something _more_ than eggs."

"What's more than eggs?"

She laughs again and pushes my arm. "Fine," she says jumping up onto the counter and smiles at me. "You cook breakfast and I'll do something for lunch."

I nod and move to her, resting my hands on her thighs. I kiss her forehead. "So you're just going to watch me cook?" She nods. "Are you sure that won't be too distracting…watching me cook?"

Tris rolls her eyes at me. "Just do it," she says pushing me away again. I grin and kiss her again before I turn from her and grab what I need to begin breakfast.


	9. Chapter 9

**TRIS**

I watched him move about the kitchen from my spot on the counter. He moved about the kitchen with ease. He had an art to losing himself; the same way my mother did. I thought back to the moment where my mother cut my hair, the morning of the Test. She had been so focused, so determined to keep her past life hidden from me and I didn't even know anything about until recently. How many other things did I still not know about her? Things that she hadn't put in her journal I wouldn't know anything about. She didn't talk about herself because that would have been too selfish.

I admired the way Tobias moved around the kitchen, he moved with such precision that I wondered if he spent a lot of time in the kitchen before. Back in Abnegation it was Caleb and my job to prepare the meals for our family. Was it the same for Tobias and his father? I didn't want to ask, I didn't want to bring up Marcus. He wasn't exactly the type of conversation that I wanted to bring up. We didn't need to talk about him anymore. Eventually though, we might have to talk about Evelyn. That is, if she was still determined to push me out of Tobias' life. I would fight her on that for sure. I would not be leaving his side. I hadn't seen Evelyn since waking up in the hospital. I hadn't seen Marcus or Johanna for that matter either, but for me, I was glad. It wasn't necessary for me to see them anymore. We weren't in the middle of war. Things were different down. There was peace; at least there was more peace then there had been a few months ago.

I knew that that was me being selfish with Tobias. It was selfish of me to keep him for myself. It was selfish to keep him from his mother, especially after the decision he had made when he'd last been back. His mother was his mother, and maybe there was a part of myself that was jealous that I wouldn't have that anymore. I didn't have my parents. And Tobias still had his. I wasn't jealous of the people; I was jealous of the relationship. The connection that you share with your family…it can't be replicated. There was still a small part of me that believed if I let him walk away, something bad would happen. If I just closed my eyes for a second, he wouldn't be there. That all of this would have been a dream and everything that I've fought for was for nothing.

I couldn't help but think that way, due to everything that has gone on in the past couple of months. It was cynical thinking, but someone had to do it. I wouldn't tell Tobias, he would probably think it was just me being silly or childish. I was still young, and even though the gap between us was only two years, and not as insurmountable as I had first imagined it to be, there were still things that I did not know. That I hadn't experienced. The dating thing…that was one of them. Tobias had gone on double dates before I had come along, and even though he hadn't known me then, I was jealous when he told me. I was still jealous now. Jealous that I wouldn't be enough. Jealous that I didn't _know_ enough.

I saw that he was nearly done with the eggs so I shook my head clear of the thoughts before hopping off of the counter to grab two trays for us, setting them down next to the cooktop before going to the grab two of the cups, filling them with water. "Head out," Tobias says. I look back at him and he nodded toward the door. "I'll be right behind you," he tells me.

I nod in response before pushing the doors open with my back and heading out to the mess hall and setting the cups down on the first table I passed. I sat down at looked up at him when he sat across from me, putting a tray down in front of me. He had made eggs and bacon. It wasn't a big breakfast; it was nothing fancy. It was simple and it was easy. But it was still time he had taken out of his day to do. Though it wasn't just for me, it was for him as well. "Thank you," I say, before taking a bite. "For breakfast."

He eyes me curiously before taking a bite himself. He smiles. "Not a problem," he tells me. "What do you want to do today?" he asks me. I take a drink of water before setting the cup down and shrugging at his question. He's been asking me that a lot lately. And it's strange because I haven't had a lot of time to focus on what I _wanted_ to do. I didn't have a lot of free time, since I had chosen Dauntless. Between training and almost dying, multiple times, I rarely got out. Which wasn't too bad for me, because at least I wasn't in Abnegation, anymore. I was able to do things for myself. So him asking me what I wanted to do…because I now had that free time, it was a bit disconcerting. Picked up a strip of bacon and took a bit before answering. "You choose."

He narrows his eyes at me. "No."

I raise my eyebrows. "No?" I ask. "Why not?"

He grins at me before taking a drink. "Because."

"That's not a good enough answer."

"Neither is yours."

"I chose yesterday!"

He studies my face for a few moments and I keep my eyes locked on him. "Fine." I smile. "What do you say about exploring the city? See what we can find and bring back to the Bureau for everyone?"

That seemed like a strange idea. People at the Bureau had more things than the people here in the city. Better things, even. Maybe it was the fact that there were things here that related back to our lives before everything fell apart. Not that the falling apart was necessarily a bad thing. It was good for everyone, even though there was a lot of commotion and the promise of war and the promise of a death serum to be used by Evelyn. The idea of going back to my original home and possibly finding something…anything that belonged to my mother there or even my father that brought validity to the life that she had had before…I wanted to find it. And I wanted to share it with Caleb.

"Unless you wouldn't want to do that…" he says. I feel his eyes on me and I look up at him, shaking my head.

"No, that's fine," I tell him. "That's great actually."


	10. Chapter 10

**TOBIAS**

After we finish eating, Tris takes the trays back into the kitchen and washes them while I head back up to the showers so that I can get cleaned up before we head back into the snow. I wasn't sure how I feel about getting back into the city. I didn't know who I would run into and if anyone would be dangerous. The idea was to keep the peace…and by doing that we chose for them to keep their memories. If peace was lost, then what would have been the point? If anything went wrong while we were in the city, I wouldn't be worried. I'll go collect any weapons after my shower, so that if we're ambushed, we'll be ready. It's not on my agenda for the day to get into a fight. I just want to walk through the city, get our things and then head back. Part of me wanted to stay, because the city was the only home I had ever known, but the other part just wanted to leave this place as far behind us as possible. This was not where I had envisioned Tris and myself spending the rest of our lives. Granted, I didn't really expect us to spend the rest of our lives at the Bureau either. But considering what I had seen out by the Fringe and broadcasts that were shown to us and articles that I had read about how the DP... it felt like here in Chicago; might be the safest place for us.

After getting out of the shower, I head back up to my room with my towel wrapped around my waist. I open the door and Tris turns to look at me, her eyes widening appreciatively. I grin at her as I make my way to the drawers and pull my clothes out. I let the towel fall as I put my shirt on and I hear her clear her throat. I turn back to look at her. "What?" I ask, my tone teasing. Her cheeks have turned red and I turn from her to get my pants on. I hang my towel off the back of the chair while Tris goes to the bookcase and inspects the books that I have. There are not many there, most of what I read while I was here were things that I could skim through and then get rid of. I didn't want to fall under the category of being weak because I was also intelligent. Back then, being more than what you set out to be was a crime. And I couldn't risk that. I couldn't risk Dauntless leaders figuring out the truth about what I wanted and that I was aware in simulations. I couldn't risk them knowing about me and then throwing me out of my own Faction. I couldn't be Factionless, because the thought of running into my father while out on the streets…I would have rather jumped into the Chasm and died.

I watch her as her fingers skim over the spines of books that I haven't even touched or thought about in almost a year. I stand behind her, a few feet back so that she can make her own assumptions about the dusty shelf. I keep my eyes on her face, her lips moving as she mutters the titles, pausing as she pulls one out. She holds it in her hands and blows on it, causing a cloud of dust to appear. She coughs, and takes a step back to look down at the cover, getting away from the dust particles. If we stayed, I would definitely have to clean that up. I would have to do a lot of cleaning; straightening up so that everything was livable. Livable for two, that is. "I've read this."

She looks up at me and her voice pulls me from the mental to-do list for when we get back and I smile. "Yeah?" I ask. It was one of few things I had in the room that connected back to my life in Abnegation. Granted, it wasn't something I really wanted to remember, given I didn't have many good memories from that home. The ones that I did have, were only with my mother and the moments we did have without my father around, were far and few between. It was a book that my mother had started reading to me, something that we were reading together, but we didn't get a chance to fix it before she ran of and left me to deal with Marcus on my own. But I had found a copy while on patrols…part of me wanted to believe that Evelyn had left it there for me to find…though why she would have risked coming out into the open and being seen by Marcus just to bring me a book that I never even finished was beyond my logic. It didn't make sense to me. And as a Dauntless I wasn't supposed to wondering about things like logic, or sense. Just Bravery. And maybe running away from Marcus wasn't brave…but I had no choice. I had to stand up for myself. I was sick of being his punching bag.

The story was of a young man who goes off on an adventure after finding out that he was magic. The things that I had heard about the book were good. It had been a huge success when it first came out. And the books following were better. But I only had the one. Maybe if we go back to the Bureau I would be able to find the rest. Maybe now I would have the time to actually finish the one in Tris' hands. I met her gaze. She nods.

"It's exciting. And it was a nice escape from the gray walls in Abnegation," she tells me. "I might have snuck it into the house and read after lights off."

I click my tongue against my teeth, shaking my head. "You mean to tell me that Beatrice Prior was a bad girl before she came to Dauntless?" I tease.

"Shut up." She laughs and pushes my arm. I grab her forearm and pull her against me, looking down into her eyes with a playful gaze. "Make me," I tell her. She stares up at me and grabs the front of my shirt, pushing up onto her toes to kiss me. I want the kiss to last longer than it does, and she ends it, falling back onto the balls of her feet.

I let out a breath and take the book from her. "We'll take it with us," I say. She nods.

"I have more books at home, I think," she says, and then she bites her lip. "My old home."

"You can still call it your home," I tell her. "Especially since we haven't found one of our own yet."

"You want a home with me?" she asks, lifting her chin, a small smile on her lips.

"I want everything with you."

"Good answer."


	11. Chapter 11

**TRIS**

After getting the supplies that we needed, which include guns and knives, just in case we ran into anyone in the city that didn't believe we were up to no good. I hadn't been back since we left and went to the Bureau so I wasn't sure how anyone would take us walking around the city as civilians. Everyone knew who we were. Everyone knew that I had had a part in releasing the video that revealed the information about Edith Prior and what was going on. But they didn't really know. That wasn't an option…we had saved them from that fate when I went up against David to save everyone here. Despite what they had been through, and what Tobias and I had been through, I figured they deserved at least that.

We walked out of the compound, Tobias' hand in mine as we headed toward the departing train. I pull my hand from his so he can run up first to open the doors. I watch him run, graceful, he had done this so many times, it was a second nature for the both of us. We had done this so many times, it was easy. I followed him, swinging the bag up to him so that he could toss it onto the train. He turned back to me and reached out a hand, I took it and let him swing me up onto the platform. I found my footing and turned to him, smiling as he leaned against the walls of the train.

"Are you ready for this?" I ask him.

He reaches out to grab my hands, and pulling me toward him. He quirks a brow at me. "Ready for what?"

I lift my shoulders in a shrug. "You know…ready to face the city," I tell him. I was nervous to see them. All I'd recently known in this city was how it felt to have people after me and trying to kill me. All I had known was how to run. I bite my lower lip and look out the windows at the passing city. "What was it like when you came?"

His hands are on my hips and he pulls me against him, resting his head on mine. "The same…but less dangerous than before we left. Probably because everyone was trying to kill us," he says with a grin. I smile. "Evelyn and Johanna were in charge, but now…things are different. I don't think that we should have anything to worry about."

I look up at him. "You sure?"

He shakes his head. "When am I ever sure about anything?" he asks and I shake my head, chuckling. "No, in all seriousness, I think that we should be fine. It's just a simple errand. Do you have an idea of what you'd like to bring back?"

I shake my head. "I'm thinking just some childhood items...not that I really had any of my own. I'll probably look for anything that belonged to my mother. To try to connect with her more, I guess." He nods at me. "I don't even know where to look for Christina's things. I don't know where she lived. I didn't really think this through, did I?"

"It's okay," he tells me. "We can always come back…if the other wants to come back, that is. So they can get their own things. I don't know about you, but I don't really know that much about the group we left with. Their past."

"We chose Dauntless to escape from our past. At least you did," I say. "The others? They did what the test told them to choose."

He nods. "What about you?"

"I had to leave. I didn't fit in at Abnegation, you knew that. Plus, staying would have been dangerous," I tell him. He smiles at me and kisses my head. "In any case, I'm glad I chose Dauntless and not Erudite. I wouldn't have met you."

"True," he says. "And that would have been _very_ bad."

"I can't imagine not knowing you, Tobias," I say, my voice softer now, more sincere. I hadn't been the type of person to come right out and say how I feel. Before…when I first met Tobias, when we first started spending more time with him, I was nervous around him. I hadn't felt that way before and it scared me. But now? Things were different. We'd been through so much and I loved him. He _knew_ that I loved him. But why was I still scared to tell him how I felt? Was it because I wasn't sure of our future? We were safe? Weren't we? I look away from him, but his hand is on my chin, lifting it up to force my gaze on his.

"Why are you looking away from me?" he asks, using his free hand to brush my hair behind my ear. I bite my lip. "Are you still nervous to be around me?"

I shake my head at his question, fast, because that was an answer I didn't have to think about. "No, of course not," I say, resting my hands on his chest. "It's the complete opposite of that. I promise." 

"Then what?"

"I just…Since meeting you…all we've done is run. Run from Eric, Max, Jeanine. Even Evelyn who didn't even want me to be with you," I say. "I think I'm just waiting for something to go wrong. Like that this is quite possibly a dream or something."

He smiles at me and leans in to kiss me. I kiss him back and sigh against his lips. He stares down at me, his forehead on mine. "_This_ is real, Tris," he tells me. "I'm not going anywhere. This is real." I smile and nod and he raises his eyebrows at me. "Okay?" I nod again. "Good." He looks up, through the windows and I follow his gaze, and see that we are near the Abnegation houses. I haven't been back since the last meeting we had…before I went with Marcus to Erudite headquarters. But that is in the past now. I don't know why it still bothers me, but it does. The decisions I had made in the past had causes tension between Tobias and myself and thinking of causing that strife again, it made me uneasy.

I swallow and move from him to grab the bags before looking at him. "Come on," I tell him before jumping out of the car and rolled onto the dirt and started walking down the streets to my childhood home. I hear his footsteps behind me and he grabs my arm. I look at him.

"Are you okay?" he asks, his grip on my arm tight. I stare up at him. "What's going on in that head of yours, Tris?"

I shake my head. "What are you talking about?"

He rubs the back of his neck. "I thought we agreed no more secrets, Tris," he says with a sigh. "What aren't you telling me? Why won't you just—"

"What?" I snap. "Tell you that I don't like the memories I have of the last time we were here? I see these buildings and I remember what happened the last time we were here. I _lied_ to you, Tobias. And it kills me thinking about what you must have gone through when I left you. Every time I lied…when I voluntarily walked to my death without so much as a word to you," I pause, a lump in my throat growing and my eyes are stinging with the promise of tears. I turn from him, rubbing my eyes. "I never meant to hurt you, Tobias."

I hear him let out a sigh and I feel him step up behind me, his arms wrapping around my body, pulling me against him. The tears are falling down my cheeks now and I sigh, bring my hands up to grip his arms. "It's okay, it's okay," he tells me, kissing my head. "I understand why you did what you did. But that's the past, Tris. We're moving forward. From this point on, every mistake we made in the past doesn't matter."

I nod and lift a hand to wipe my cheeks. "You promise?"

"Of course I do."


	12. Chapter 12

**TOBIAS**

It makes me nervous seeing Tris like this. Not because it makes me uncomfortable, but because I don't know what I can do to get her to stop thinking of her past mistakes. They were decisions that led to this point. They have led to where we are now in our relationship. We are at a good place with each other and I honestly believe that we haven't been closer. I don't blame her for her decisions anymore. I understand why she did what she did, and I hope that that understands why I did what I did. But those decisions we made are in the past. They don't matter anymore. Except maybe the decision I made to join up with Nita that ended up taking Uriah's life. That decision would stay with me forever. I often have dreams about that day…about things that I could have done differently to save Uriah. But like real life, I can't escape what I did. I am never able to save him.

We walk through the streets going that wind through the Abnegation sector, and I see the house that I lived in previously to defecting to Dauntless. On the outside, it looks just like every other house in area. Plain, gray, simple and unappealing to the eye. There is no different from that house to the home that Tris grew up in. It was unsuspecting to any outsider that glanced its way. They didn't know; they couldn't begin to understand. Inside, my home was dangerous, dark, and it was rare that I got a good night's sleep. Marcus blamed me for Evelyn's betrayal and he took it out on me daily. There was no running from the home that I hated. There was no escaping the man who haunted my dreams. He was with me, everywhere I went. Even when I defected, he was still there with me. In my fear landscape, every day that I could, I went into my fear landscape to try to fight the fear that was my father. But even then, even with Amar encouraging me, I wasn't able to defeat him. No matter how much time passed, he would never leave.

I look away from the building and return my gaze forward, and I see Tris looking at me, her eyebrows turned down as she studies my face. She is beginning to master the different looks that I have, and slowly beginning to translate them into what I am thinking about. She looks back at the house that I had been staring at, and then she understands. She does not ask questions; she does not bring it up, and that is another reason that I love her. I turn with Tris up the path as we get closer to her home. I wait as she opens the door and then follow her inside. We were not approached by any hostile forces; we were not approached by anyone, so it is beginning to look like the truce between Marcus and Johanna and my mother is working out for the best. No more fighting. Keep the peace.

She closes the door and I move into the kitchen, setting the bag on the table. "Do you want to come up with me?" she asks.

I turn to look at her and nod and she holds her hand out, which I take and she leads me up the stairs to her former bedroom. I sit on the bed as she walks around, figuring out what to bring back with us. If there is anything worth bringing back with her. I study the room and I start to get a sense of who she was before me. There is not much in the room, due the Abnegation standards, keeping anything more than what is needed was considered selfish, and if she had kept anything, it would be hidden away in any nook and cranny that she could find. Other than the bed, there is a desk for studying and a simple lamp for extra light. She goes to the closet and pulls out a box from the top shelf and turns to look at me with a smile.

"What's in there?" I ask. She comes over to the bed and sits next to me, her legs cross as she takes the lid of. She licks her lips and I look down into the box.

"This is just random knick knacks that I collected over the years," she says. "Nothing too special…they were just things that I found interesting and knew that keeping them would be considering selfish. I think knowing that was one of the reasons I did it so much." I can't help but chuckle, because it was just like her to be rebellious, even only a little bit. She pulls out a picture from the bottom, it's old and in the photo I easily recognize her mother from when she came to Dauntless on Visiting Day and the man in the photo would be Tris' father Andrew. I recognized the name from the articles that Erudite had released when they were starting to accuse Abnegation of failing to uphold the system of peace that ran the city. Standing in front of Andrew and Natalie are a young Tris and Caleb, maybe about six or seven, with excited grins while their parents wear nervous smiles. Pictures for Abnegation families were rare, maybe even illegal, which explains the expressions the couple wore. She looks at me. "This is the only picture I have of my parents," she tells me. I look at her and smile. "I think this may be the only thing that I want to bring back. The rest…they don't really hold important memories."

I nod and kiss her cheek and she smiles at me. "Want to go ransack Caleb's room?" she asks me. I think about it before grinning. "Yes," I answer, getting out of the bed. I let her lead the way, because I am not sure which room belongs to her brother. She opens the door and sighs. "I'm kind of betting on the fact that the only thing we'll find hidden is books. I think I want to bring him back one that looks incredibly worn, because that way I know that he likes it."

I walk to the closet and open the doors, looking on the top shelf and not finding any books, I grab a box like the one that Tris pulled from her closet and set it down on the bed. I open the box and find an old watch, which looks as if the battery died. She comes up behind me. "What do you have?" she asks, and then I hear her gasp. I look at her and see a smile on her lips. "What?" I ask.

"That's my fathers," she says. "It went missing one year, we looked everywhere in the house and we couldn't find it. Eventually we just decided that it was lost and he got a new watch. But apparently, Caleb took it. Why, I have no idea, but I think we should bring it for him. It'll be nice for him to have," she says. I put the lid back on the box and lick my lips. "Do you want to go into your parent's room by yourself? To see if you can find anything that belonged to your mother?"

She contemplates for a few moments, and I keep my eyes on her. "I think maybe I want to wait," she looks up at me. "Just so that when I come back I'm not distracted by anything or anyone…" she adds, glancing in my direction.

I raise my eyebrows at her. "What did I do?" I ask, laughing.

She shakes her head. "You always distract me," she says before leaning up to kiss me. I meet her lips and smile against them, running my fingers through her hair.

"The same goes for you," I tell her.

She shakes her head. "No, it's worse for me, I think."

"Whatever you say." I kiss her again. "Where would you like to go now?" I ask her. "Back to Dauntless?"

She shakes her head. "No," she says. "I think I'm going to make you a proper Abnegation meal and then we can rest up here for a while before heading back."

"A _proper_ Abnegation meal?" I ask. "Compared to the hamburgers we had last night…" I trail off when she glares at me and I grin holding my hands up in defense. "Okay, okay…I'm sorry. I'm sure it will be fantastic."

"You're damn right," she smirks before turning and leaving the room to head downstairs.

I shake my head as I follow her down the stairs. I am hopelessly in love with her.


	13. Chapter 13

**TRIS**

I feel better now. Now that I let out some steam and voiced my frustrations to Tobias. Even though I knew that he would always be there, by my side, standing with me no matter what I choose…a part of me still needed reassuring that it was true. There was something about his warmth that calmed me. Something about his smile and soothed my soul. I do not know what I would do without him. He in sitting at the table while I prepare our food in the kitchen. It will just be a simple stew, minimal seasonings…and I don't know why I choose to make this, or why I want to eat here. It might be me just wanting to connect to my parents…wanting to connect to my past. Being in this house…it feels normal. At least, it gives me an idea of what normal could feel like. If things had been different, and we both ended up in Abnegation, I wondered in Tobias and I would have met. I wonder if we would have connected the way that we did. I look over at where he sits at the table, his eyebrows furrowed as he reads from a textbook that he found up in Caleb's room. I didn't get a good enough look at it, but I think it might have had something to do with science…by the look of the cover, it might be biology. I smile…because a feeling of euphoria washes over me and I am content.

I turn away from him and look down at the cutting board in front of me. I grab the knife and begin cutting the carrots slowly, my movements concise and even. I had done this many times before in this same kitchen, with Caleb by my side and our parents in the room next to us. It was a chore I had done many times over several years of living in this house. I fight learned how to cook by watching my mother when I was very young and I still remember the way she moved around the kitchen, explaining the little things I would need to do. _"You'll do this for your husband one day, Beatrice," _she had told me. I was only seven at the time, and the thought of being married to someone…the thought of having to give myself up before I had even experienced who I was myself…the thought was not appealing to me. But I smiled at her. _"And then you'll teach _your _children how to cook, just like I am teaching you."_ The thought of having children hadn't even occurred to me. It was such a far off image…it was in a box locked away with the idea of marrying.

But now? With Tobias? I don't know…my ideas on marriage or even having children, they've been pushed aside because I had been so focused on other things. Staying alive had been the most important thing for me. That and making sure Caleb and Tobias and Christina were taken care of. They had been the main priority as of late. I still wasn't sure if I could settle down and relax and begin thinking about the future in a way other than survival. Was it possible? Tobias and I had never talked about it…when would we of had time? But I knew what I wanted…It was I had always wanted, and though it still scares me, I can't imagine having that with anyone else. I don't _want _it with anyone else. I am his, and he is mine, and I wouldn't change that for anything.

I lose myself in my motions, falling back into old habits and patterns, as I begin to skin the potatoes over the sink and I hear Tobias's chair push back against the floor. I look at him, smiling as he comes to join me in the kitchen. He kisses my cheek as he pulls out his knife and grabs a potato, skinning it slowly as he looks at me, a curious expression on his face.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks me.

I glance up at him and bite my lip. No more secrets. That was the promise that we had made. And it wasn't that I wanted to lie to him. I always wanted to be honest with him; I am just nervous at what he would have to say. I am always nervous of his reactions to things I want to say to him. I was still young…not even seventeen. I should not even be thinking about this. I should not be thinking about the future…marriage…or even having children. I still have things that I need to experience…be a teenager and enjoy my life. Ever since the Choosing Ceremony I haven't had a lot of time to enjoy myself. Though Dauntless has given me a few experiences that make me believe that I had chosen well. I watch his eyes study my face, as if trying to find to answer to his question hidden just under the surface and I turn my head, looking back down at the blade in my hand.

"Tris?"

I do not look at him for this answer. I do not want to see the look on his face…because I am not sure I want to know his response. "Marriage," I say, my voice catching in my throat as my nerves get the best of me. I cough to clear my throat and I rinse off the potato before setting the potato down on the cutting board. I grab another one and began skinning it. I am curious now. He has not spoken, so I peek up at him, trying to be sneaky about this, and I see the smile on his lips. He is not looking at me either, and I can't stop the muscles in my cheek contracting and my lips are pulled up into a smile of my own. I return my gaze to the potatoes and lick my lips, nervously. My heart is beating a little faster in my chest and I feel the way I felt the night we first really connected. My body is warm and my cheeks are probably red, but in the moment I do not care.

I rinse off my knife before I begin cutting the potatoes and he sets the vegetable next to my hand. "Thank you," I say, biting into my lower lip.

"So…" he says, leaning against the counter as I cut. I brace myself for his words. "You want to get married?"

I turn to look at him and except there to be a teasing grin on his face, but there is not. I do not know why I keep anticipating him treating me like a child, when he's never done it. He has always treated me with respect. Instead, when I look at his face, the smile from before is still there and his eyes are bright. I feel a weight lift off of my shoulders and I nod, slowly.

"Eventually….yes," I say putting the cut vegetables into the pot on the stove that has been boiling chicken for the past couple of minutes. I put the lid on and wipe my hands off on a towel. "I'd like to…be married to you. But I am still young and you probably haven't even thought about it and I don't know I just—"

I am unable to finish speaking as Tobias comes toward me and grabs my waist, pulling my against him. The smile is wider now and I'm sure my face matches his. "You talk too much," he tells me before, pressing his lips to mine.


	14. Chapter 14

**TOBIAS**

Before we sit down for dinner, I set the table with spoons for the stew that Tris had prepared and I was happy; I was relaxed. I hadn't anticipated my life to turn out this way. I hadn't imagined being back in an Abnegation house with Tris cooking me a traditional Abnegation meal. This feels natural. It feels like things are finally falling into place. I had believed when I left this faction that I was never coming back. Tris had brought out a part of my life that I had thought was long gone. A part that was deep rooted in my subconscious, only to come out when I entered my fear landscape. Being back in this sector…eating the same food…it calmed me. But only because of whom I was sharing this moment with. I am sure that if it were anyone else, I would not have come back. Is this what life would have turned out to be had I stayed in Abnegation? Would I have married and Abnegation woman or just have stayed single the rest of my life? Would I have met Tris and fallen in love with her the same way?

There was no way to know; there was no way to go back and try again or do things differently. And even if there was a way, I would not take it. I would not change any of the decisions I had made to get to this point…except the decision I made that ultimately ended Uriah's life. So much had happened since I left Abnegation…and so much had happened since I had met Tris. Losing that and losing her…I probably would not survive. If I admitted it to her, it's probably embarrass her…it'd probably embarrass me, since neither of us were really that great at coming out and talking about our feelings, but she was my life force. She was my reason for living. After meeting her, I was curious about her because she was the only other Stiff to ever defect to Dauntless…and that fascinated me. She was weak in the beginning…but getting stronger every day. And I woke up each morning, wondering just how she would surprise me.

I grabbed two cups from the cupboard and filled them with water before taking them to the table. Tris comes to join me, carrying two bowls and setting them down on the table. The scent of the stew triggers an old memory and I remember my mother making something similar many, many, years ago. I sit down and she sits across from me. "Is it bad to say that I kind of missed this food?" she asks before taking a bite.

I shake my head at her question, taking a bite of my own. It doesn't have as much flavor as I had grown accustomed to at Dauntless, but it is still very good. There was something that I had always found very comforting about Abnegation food. I swallow. "This is great," I say. She looks up at me. "Good, I'm glad you like it," she tells me. "This is the first thing that my mother ever taught me to make. She told me I would make it for my family one day. And since you're family now…" she smiles at me before looking down at her bowl, continuing to eat.

I watch her as we both eat and decide that I have to figure out a way to ask her to marry me. After everything we've been through, I think she deserves something of epic proportion. Something that would last in the memories she has. I'm not the most creative type…but I am sure that I can figure something out. Even though she was right about us still being young, we were probably two of the most mature people in the city. We have grown over the past months that we had spent together, both individually as well as together. She knew me better than anyone, and I am confident that she would say the same of me. "What do you think the others back at Bureau are doing right now?" I ask.

She glances up at me and smirks. "Probably wondering where we are…or thinking that we're locked up in that room you got us. And then their minds are probably wandering…"

"Well they would be half right," I say, thinking back to last night. She blushes brushes some loose hair behind her ear. When she blushes, I fall in love with her a little more. She doesn't seem to understand just how beautiful she is to me. I take another bite as I think, wondering just how I can surprise her. The girl who can fight her fears…the girl who doesn't let anything get in her way. How do I propose to a girl like that without her figuring me out?

"Anyway," she says and I smile at her obvious conversation tangent. "We should talk about that…"

I look up at her, curious. "Which part?"

She lifts her shoulders in a shrug. "Whether or not we're here to stay," she says. "I haven't really given much thought to where I want to settle down. But to be quite honest, I don't care where as long as you're there."

"I will be," I tell her. I haven't given it much thought either. I didn't care where we go as long as it meant I could start a family with Tris without anyone trying to tell us how to live our lives. I was done with people trying to tell me what I could and couldn't do, or couldn't be. Things had changed; things were different. _We_ were different.

"I know that," she says with a smile, setting down her spoon. I grab our bowls and stand, kissing her cheek before heading back into the kitchen to work on the dishes. She follows me in and hops up on the counter. "What do you think?"

I look at her as I scrub as the dish, and shake my head. "Where do you want to live?" She throws a towel at me. "What?"

"You can't keep doing that!"

"Doing what?" I ask as I rinse out the bowl and hand it to her to dry. I pick up the towel and set it next to her.

"You can't keep expecting to make _all_ of the decisions," she says. "You wanted to be the guy, so _be the guy._"

I laugh and flick water at her. Her eyes are narrowed and she's wearing a scowl. She looks beautiful. "All right," I say turning off the faucet and moving over to her so that her legs are on either side of me. I rest my hands on her hips as I study her face. She brings her hands up and lets them rest on my shoulders. "I think we _could_ live here. At least here, we'd know that we're safe…for the most part. From what we both experienced out on the Fringe, the outside world is not where I would want to raise our children." Her scowl disappears and the look on her face is replaced with one of surprise. Her eyebrows are up on her forehead and her lips have started to curve up. I feel a smile of my own coming on, but I continue. "At least we know that it's steady here. But it's also steady and safe back at the Bureau…though I'm not quite sure how I feel about working for that government, which is what we'd probably be doing."

She nods. "I'd want to talk to Christina and Caleb and everyone and see where they would want to live," she says. "I wouldn't want to live too far from them"

I nod, because I understand. We had all connected over the past few months…for me, I hadn't connected with Caleb as much. I was still a little angry with him trying to kill Tris, but since she had started to move past that, I was slowly working on it. He was the last piece of the family that she had, and I wasn't going to tell her that he couldn't live near us. Hell, he could live _with_ us if that mean I could be with Tris. And with Christina…she had been there from the beginning. There was no way we could leave her behind…though her family, they still weren't too fond of Tris after learning about Will. Christina would have to make that decision.

"We can go back and have a meeting and decide what we all want to do," I tell her. "We don't have to decide right this second."

"I know…I just want to be prepared," she says.

"And we will be," I tell her. "We've got time."

She nods and leans pressing her lips to mine. I kiss her back hungrily and dig my fingers into her hips. She lets out a moan as she pulls away to pull my shirt over my head. "Here?" I ask, a chuckle escaping my lips as I press them against her neck. I feel her shake her head as she runs her fingers down my back. "Okay then."

I pick her up from the counter and throw her over my shoulder and leave the kitchen, heading up the stairs to her bedroom before tossing her down on the bed. She laughs and gets on her knees as she pulls her own shirt over her head. I grin as I join her on the bed. She kisses me and I pull her body against mine, my teeth pulling on her lower lip. She groans and wraps her arms around my neck. I move my hands down her body. And tug on her pants, pushing them down her legs. I kiss her neck as my fingers move between her legs. She lets out a soft whimper as I push a long finger into her before pushing her down onto the bed, my lips moving from her neck to her lips again.

I move my fingers against her and smile as she moans against my lips. I use my free hand to get rid of my pants before pushing her legs aside, using my thumb to rub against her clit. She arches up into me and lets out a breath against my lips. "Please," she whispers against them. I cannot deny her this, not when she is in such a vulnerable position. I line up with her opening, pulling my hand from her before pushing into her, letting out a groan. I kiss her again, roughly as I rock my hips into hers, our bodies moving together in perfect synchronization. She tugs on my lips and I groan again.

Our bodies continue collide as I lose myself inside of her. She is mine, and I am hers.


	15. Chapter 15

**TRIS**

I dream of a life that is not my own. I dream of the life that I have I not willingly taken. I dream of a life that I would have had, had I stayed in Abnegation with my parents. But I still knew of everything that I found out while I was at Dauntless. I was aware of everything. It was like I had been placed in a fear simulator, but there was no way to snap out of it. There was no out for me. I was stuck like this. I was useless…just going through the motions of a day to day life that means nothing to me. It brings no excitement; I am an observer of my own, boring life. I struggle through the motions of a typical Abnegation life, and it is nearly impossible to make it through a day of volunteering. Because that is all Abnegation does. Help _other_ people. And I can't do it anymore. I continue to struggle because I know what is coming for this faction; I know what Erudite is planning, otherwise I would leave and become one of the Factionless. There is nothing to do but wait. Wait until the day Dauntless soldiers come marching through my streets and attack and kill innocent people. There is nothing I can do, and I cry as I watch my parents being killed in front of me, one right after the othe. And then there's Caleb, in blue, dead on the ground and Tobias…he had been the one to pull the trigger. He didn't know me…he didn't know the first thing about me, and he was staring at me with narrowed, cold eyes, gun pointed right at my head. We had never fallen in love and I was just the _Stiff _in grey that was his mission. There was no trace of emotion, on his face. I had been wrong about him. He was not aware. This couldn't be real. I couldn't lose him this way. But there was nothing I could do…and as I close my eyes, I hear the bullet leave the chamber with a loud explosion.

I shake myself awake to find myself pressed against Tobias body,, his bare chest radiating heat through me. I can hear his heartbeat with my head resting against his chest and I close my eyes, listening to the rhythm, letting the rise and fall of his chest soothe me. My breath is coming out in pants and I try to quiet them so that I don't end up waking him. My eyes are agitated so I must have started crying at some point during the nightmare, so I lift a hand to wipe at my cheeks. I take a breath and slowly begin to roll away from him so that I can deal with my emotions on my own, but his arm tightens before I am able to get too far and he's pulling me back against him. I look up at him, smiling at me, but then when he sees my face, the smile goes and his eyebrows are pulled forward, looking down at me in concern.

"What's wrong?" he asks me, his grip growing stronger. "What's happened?"

His immediate worry sweeps the bad feelings the dream had left behind and I feel the weight on my shoulders falls away. I shake my head. "Nothing's wrong…"I tell him quickly. Even though I'm glad to have his support in wanting him to fix whatever is wrong, there is no need to have him freak out over nothing. Especially when that nothing was just a bad dream. "It's fine. I just had a bad dream."

His eyes soften as he leans in to kiss my forehead. "Tell me," he urges gently, breathing out a sigh of relief. I must have scared him when he saw me crying. In recent times, seeing me cry was rare; which is why this was probably such a shock.

"It was life as it probably would have been if I had chosen Abnegation," I begin, seeing the flashes of the nightmare every time I blink. "But it was like I was in a simulation…I knew everything I know now…about Erudite and the serums, but even though I knew what was to come, I couldn't abandon my family. I couldn't change them, even as aware as I was of everything. It was terrifying." I take a breath and he hugs me tighter. "Then the Dauntless soldiers came, their minds taken over from Jeanine, killing everyone in their way. And then…there you showed up."

"What did I do?"

"You weren't aware," I say, looking up at him. "And you didn't know me. And that probably hurt me the most out of the entire dream," I sigh and rest my head down on his chest again. "And then you killed my family right before you killed me."

He sighs. "You think that's what would have happened if you had chosen Abnegation?" he asks.

"I think that I would have been found out if I had chosen Abnegation," I answer. "But the dreams…" I pause, because now I have let on that I've had them before. I feel him looking at me, which is why I purposefully avoid his gaze. I swallow. "I think they're just a fear of you not knowing me. Because if you didn't know me…I don't know what I would do."

"Well," he says. I can hear the smile in his voice. "You don't have to worry about that. _Ever_."

I look up at him and meet his gaze and in those moments it dawns on me. I can't remember a time that I have been so incredibly at ease. Despite everything Tobias and I have been through, these are the moments that I want to have for the rest of our lives together. It is the little things that make me smile. Cooking dinner together, riding the train together, and waking up in his arms; I would not trade anything for this. The smile widens and I cannot stop myself from smiling back. To me, Tobias' smile is infectious. I lose myself in his dark blue eyes, and can't remember back to a time when I didn't feel safe with him. He is everything to me and always will be. I keep my eyes on him as I reach up to press my lips to his. His lips are soft against mine and when he pulls away, I nestle back into him, with his head resting on mine, his arms wrapped around me.

"Other than the dream," he says with a slight chuckle. "How did you sleep?"

"It was weird being back in this bed," I admit. It had been months since I had woken up for the last time in this bed, the day that I left for the Choosing Ceremony with my family. I never expected to come back to this place, to this room, without any ulterior motives. Before when we stayed here with everyone else, it was for the job, the mission, to make sure we had a place to stay. Things were different now and they were for the better. Everything about him made me better. It didn't matter what situation we were in, whether he was training me during initiation or going with him into his fear landscape just so that he could teach me what a Dauntless would do…instead of what I was programmed to do as a Divergent. In any given situation I was able to focus more when I was with him. "But I always sleep better with you with me."

He chuckles and kisses me again. "I have something to do today," he says

"What?" I ask. "You mean by yourself?"

He gives me a look and I can't help but smile. "Yeah," he says. "But it won't take me too long if you want to hang around here."

I narrow my eyes at him. "So wait, I can't go with you?"

"No," he says, his voice firm. I sit up and look at him, titling my head to the side. "I'm serious, Tris."

"Okay…" I say slowly. "But if you're going on an adventure, I am, too." He opens his mouth to protest. "I'll be fine. Even if I'm not, isn't that what we brought the guns for?" He closes his mouth and I smile, leaning down to kiss him gently. "I'm going to go shower," I say hopping off the bed. I head toward the door and turn back to look at him. "You're welcome to join me."

There is a smirk on his lips as he jumps from the bed and I head down to the hall to the bathroom, laughing, with Tobias on my heels.


	16. Chapter 16

**TOBIAS**

I follow Tris down the hallway to the bathroom and she looks over her shoulder at me with a smirk on her lips. It was times like these where she knew just how much damage she could cause me. I never thought that when I first saw her, that this girl would be able to make me _want_ so much more. Not just out of life, but out of everything. To me, she was perfect. I enter the room after her and watch as she turns the water on. She turns to look at me and bites her lower lip. I approach her and set me hands on her waist, pulling her against me, my lips finding my spot on her neck. She lets out a soft sigh and I nip at her flesh, my fingers digging into her skin.

"I love you, you know" she whispers against my ear, her fingers brushing through my hair. I smile and pull my lips away from her neck, so that I can look into her eyes. I kiss her gently, resting my head against hers.

"I know," I tell her. She grins at me before I pick her up and carry her into the shower. I push her against the wall and kiss her hungrily as she wraps her arms around my neck. The water is falling down over my body, which is pressed against her, our bodies connecting with sheer force. I move my hands down her sides and tease my fingers along her heat and can't help but grin as she lets out a breathy moan. I pull my hand away.

"Such a tease," she tells me. I laugh and kiss her cheek as I grab the soap, rubbing it through my hands before handing the bar to her. I lather the soap through my hair and wash as she does the same. I have a hard time keeping my eyes off of her…she was such a bright light that it was nearly impossible to look away.

"Well you said you wanted to shower," I grin. "So we'll shower…and then we can have fun."

She eyes me for a second before nodding. I stand under the stream of water and let it wash the soap from my hair. I peek at her from one eye and see her watching me, a smile on her lips. I finish up and switch places with her. "What was that look for?" I ask her.

She smirks and shrugs, not speaking as she runs her fingers through her hair. I lean against the wall and stare at her with a grin. She opens her eyes and grabs the soap against before walking toward me. She began rubbing the soap against my chest and I let out a breath at the feeling of her fingers on my skin. She glances up at me, that same shy smile on her lips.

"So is this something I can look forward to in the future?" She asks me.

"What, showers with me?" I ask teasingly, lifting a hand to brush her hair behind her ear. She laughs, but shakes her head.

"Though this is great, that's not necessarily what I'm talking about," Tris says as she splashes some water at me. "You and I haven't really have a lot of time like this together."

I nod and take the soap from her as I began to rub her shoulders with the soap and lean in to kiss her softly. "We had so much to fight for," I say. "But now…you and I can actually start thinking about the future…about _us."_

She looks down at the soap in her hands before setting it aside and looking back up at me. She has the blush on her cheeks the smile on her lips and I smile back. "I don't know what I'd do without you," she says, placing a hand on the back of my neck and drawing me down for a kiss. I kiss her softly and wrap my arms around her waist, holding her tightly against me.

"You'll never have to find out," I say before lifting her and pushing her against the wall and pressing my body against hers. She groans against my lips and wraps her legs around me, nudging her nose against mine, urging me. I do not need any secondary command until I push into her moving us under the water against as I thrust into her. I let out a groan as her nails drag down my back and into my skin. I kiss her neck and she breathes heavily into my ear, her legs tightening around me.

I suck a mark onto her collarbone, above one of the tattooed birds. I kiss nip at her neck and she jerks her hips against mine. I swallow hard as she nips at my earlobe and I began to move faster against her. She keeps up with me, as she's always been able to and move together in synchronization for the next few minutes in pure ecstasy before we both finish. I rest my head against her neck as she rides out the wave of her orgasm and I kiss her before pulling away from her. She is breathing heavily and pushes her hair out of her face. Her cheeks are red and her eyes are bright. She looks beautiful.

"God…_where_ did you learn that?" she asks with a slight laugh. I bite my lip and raise my eyebrows at her. She shakes her head. "No, never mind. I don't want to know." She turns from me takes the soap to wash her face. I step forward and press my lips to her shoulder.

"Did you know that I had never been with someone before you?" I ask her. She turns to look at me, her eyebrows narrowed accusingly. "It's true!"

She tilts her head before speaking. "Tobias…have you _seen_ yourself?" she asks me. "I don't believe that you hadn't been with anyone before you were with little old me." She folds her arms across her chest, hiding her body from me. I let out a breath before I reach around her and turn off the water before stepping out of the shower. I find a towel and wrap it around it before grabbing her hands and pulling her out.

"I wasn't exactly friendly to anyone," I say. "Who do you think I would have hooked up with?"

She shrugs and begins to rub the towel through her hair. "Lauren, maybe?" I can't help but snort out a laugh. She stops and glares at me. "Why is that funny?"

"Because it is," I tell her before kissing her. "When I came to Dauntless, all I wanted to focus on was being away from Marcus and creating a life that separated me from the one I had in Abnegation. I didn't want to be Tobias Eaton anymore. I was Four and I was good at it. I was good at putting on a face and not caring about anything or anyone. I didn't have time to focus on hook ups or dating," I smile gently at her. "But then you showed up and everything about my life changed. I didn't _want_ to be with anyone before you came into my life." She clenches her jaw and I can see that she's trying to keep herself from crying. "Stop trying to hide yourself from me or make yourself feel like you don't deserve this."

"Sometimes I don't feel like I do," she says quietly.

"Well then we're on an even playing field," I tell her.

"You feel like _you_ don't deserve _me_?"

"All of the time."

"That's stupid."

"So is you thinking that we're notperfect together," I say. "Because we are."

She takes a breath and then lets it out. "Fine," she says. "I'll try to be more appreciative. And less cautious."

"Do that," I say with a smile. She shakes her head before standing on her toes and kissing me. "I'll try not to be gone for more than a few hours. If I'm not back by dark you can assume something has happened to me." She glares at me. "I'm just kidding."

"Not funny," she says. "Take a gun with you, though. Just to be safe."

I nod and grab a towel before beginning to dry myself off as I head back to the room to get my clothes. After dressing, I head downstairs and find Tris at the table reading an old textbook of Caleb's. She turns to look at me as I rifle though the duffel bag we brought with us. I grab a gun and look up at her. "I love you," she says.

"I love you, too," I say. "I'll see you soon."


	17. Chapter 17

**TRIS**

After Tobias leaves, I stay sitting at the table, thumbing through the textbook that Caleb must have gotten from one of his teachers before the Ceremony. I have not really gone through his room yet, because I feel like that would be an invasion of privacy and that he might not be too happy about that…but there has to be more exciting things in there than there are in my own room. I didn't collect things because I didn't want anyone in my family to find out that I wasn't being entirely selfless and keeping things for myself. That has always been a worry of mine. My family finding out how I was and not accepting it. I think that I will wait a while before going back into Caleb's room. Being here…back in this house, it still feels like his room. And even though he is not here, he still deserves that privacy.

And as for my parent's bedroom…I do not know when I'll be able to go in there. Even though that is most of the reason I wanted to come back to this house…to see if I could find anything that related back to my mother…back to the life she had before she was implanted in Dauntless all those years ago. I cannot bring myself to open the door. Part of me wants to know more about her…but part of me doesn't. Reading her journal had been a task; how would it affect me if I found more out about her? I do not want to go down that road just yet, so the door to my parent's bedroom will remain closed for the time being. If I do end up going past the threshold, I will want to do it with Tobias by my side.

I close the book and look around the room, leaning back in my chair, and enjoying the view. I take a breath. I am not sure if I want to leave the house…or go exploring like I had told Tobias I wanted to do. As antsy as I feel right now, I don't want to risk leaving. I understand that the worst of the fight is over…both sides had agreed to stop fighting…and they had come to reasonable terms. Even though I have all of that information, there is the tiniest part of me that is afraid of getting shot and never waking up. I am lucky that we were at the Bureau and that I survived. I cannot imagine the state that I would have left Caleb and Christina in if I hadn't woken up. Trying to imagine how I would have left Tobias…well it is not something that I want to imagine. When I think about it, it physically hurts me to the extent that I can't breathe. I set my face in my hands and take a deep breath, trying to lift the weight that has settled on my chest. When I pull my hands away, they are wet. Maybe it was the almost dying that has been messing with my emotions. Because I don't remember crying this much…not even when I was younger. Maybe it was because it was too selfish to cry when I was in Abnegation and it was seen as cowardice in Dauntless. I had been suppressing these feelings back for so long that with no one around, they were bursting through the floodgates.

Instead of just sitting here and wallowing in my own emotions, I get up, and I decide to do what I had seen my mother do many times. She had been able to lose herself in cleaning, though now I am not sure if she was losing herself or if she was reminisicing of the times she spent at the Bureau. After reading her journal though, I do not know how much she thought of that place after leaving. It seemed to me that after meeting my father, everything changed for her. I wish that I could be more like her…brave, selfless…forgiving of others and their misdeeds. I am still young…I still have time to grow, but at this point in time, I don't know if I am able to change…not after everything that has happened. But that is what I need to strive for. I need to be selfless and think about other people…but I also need to think of myself. I have been so worried about everyone else lately that I don't know when the last time is that I thought of what I _wanted._ If my parents could see me now…if they had heard me say that before everything went down, they would have chastised me. And maybe I deserve to be chastised a little bit.

I need to get my mind off of everything. I need to get my mind off of the people who have died…died fighting with me…standing by me…by what they believed in. Tori and Uriah and everyone else that didn't have to fight. But they wanted to…they couldn't just sit around and do nothing. That wasn't who they were…and though I knew that , a part of me felt guilty for it. My decisions…eventually snowballed into their death. I shake my head, because I feel that familiar stinging behind my eyes and I know that I am going to start crying. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before walking into the kitchen and grabbing the cleaning supplies from the closet before I begin.

I start in the kitchen and slowly make my way through the house cleaning every square inch that I can. I want to take my time, due to the fact that I do not know where Tobias has gone or what he's doing, or who he's seeing, or how long he'll be gone. I need this to distract me possibly for the rest of day. I finish a few hours later and I am sitting on the stairs with my head resting against the wall with my eyes shut. If I fall asleep now, even for just an hour, I don't think that I'd be able to sleep tonight. I take the supplies downstairs and put them back in the closet before going upstairs to shower again. When I'm done, I pull on one of Tobias' shirts before heading back into my room with the book we brought back from his room. I settle under the covers and take a breath before opening the book and reading the first page.


	18. Chapter 18

**TOBIAS**

I leave the house and keep the gun holstered in my jeans. I wear dark blue jeans with my black jacket because I remember Tris telling me about a man who was being beaten because he was violated the dress code and wearing the colors of one specific faction. I don't want to take the chance that there were still some people hanging around the city that would do that because I don't really want to have to get in a fight with anyone today. I have a specific mission, task, that I have to accomplish today and I have to get it done without any distractions. It was going to be hard enough bringing_ this_ conversation up with my mother. Especially considering she isn't the biggest fan of Tris; talking to her about this wasn't going to be easy. I find her where I left her, after she had surrendered to Johanna and Marcus. The latter must have been hard…I didn't really stick around long since I had to head back to the Bureau. I had told her that I was going to show up soon when I left. But then I found out everything that had gone down between Tris and David, and I hadn't been able to get word out to her.

Yes, showing up like this, out of the blue to discuss someone she does not want to talk about is probably not the best idea I've had as of late. I let out a breath as I approach the building and walk in; surprised that no one has made a move to stop me the entire time. It was a strange feeling, considering for that past few months all I've been is cautious whenever I go anywhere. I didn't know what was hiding behind a corner, or who was going to attack me next. Every day was a new experience…and this….having the immunity to walk around without fear of retribution? It was just strange. I wasn't used to this kind of freedom. I go up the stairs, my hand resting on the handle of the gun making sure that I can grab it quickly if needed. No one stops me, still strange, as I finally get to her office. I can see her through the glass doors, sitting at her desk, reading through papers. I'm surprised there is no one standing guard outside of the door. I wonder just how much "peace" has been spread around if it's become so lax on security here.

I open the door and my mother looks up at me, her eyes weren't focused on me, she was seeing me but not really seeing me. It takes her a few moments before she realizes who I am and that I am not someone coming to give an update or to see how she's doing. A smile appears on her face and then as quickly as it Is there, it fades and her eyes narrow, her eyebrows coming together on her forehead. I clench my jaw and rub the back of my neck sheepishly and brace myself for the impact of her words.

"You'll be back?" Evelyn asks getting up from the chair and staring at me. I sigh. "You said a couple days, Tobias. And now you come back, waltzing through my door like nothing even happened?" I open my mouth to speak, but she continues to speak and I shut my mouth quickly. "I've been sitting here for nearly two weeks worried if you had made it back…if you were safe…if you—"

I don't let her continue, I close the distance between us before pulling her against me for a hug. She buries her face in my neck, sobs shaking her body. I understand this feeling; it is how I felt for months after she left me. I had no idea where she had gone…I believed that she was dead. Finding her was like a wave of relief. The feeling my mother was experiencing right now. We stand like that for a few moments before she pulls away and wipes her cheeks.

"So?" she asks. "What happened? What kept you?"

"Tris was shot," I say. Her eyes widen and they search my face. "But she's okay. She had to stay in the infirmary for about a week and then we stuck around for her to heal a bit longer."

"Who shot her?"

"It doesn't matter anymore," I say. "Then we got a little stir crazy so we came back to the city to have a little time together."

She raises her brows at me. "You came _back_ here?" she asks me. "Why on earth would you do that?"

I laugh. "Tris wanted to come back," I say. "And I'm not really in a place to tell her no."

She shakes her head and moves back to her desk, going through her paperwork again. "I don't know what you see in that girl, Tobias," she says clicking her tongue. My eyes narrow at her words, my smile leaving my face. "There are women out there that are better suited for you."

"Are you kidding me?" I ask, shaking my head at her. "You're kidding, right?"

She glances up at me. "What are you talking about?"

I exhale a breath. "What do you have against Tris, mother?"

"What do I have against her?" she repeats. "Aside from the fact that she lied to you, multiple times and then teamed up with Marcus of all people and then those _Allegiant_..."

"Yeah, she lied to me. And I've lied to her. That is just how things go," I snap. "But we work through it. And if you ask me why then you obviously haven't been paying attention."

She stares up at me, the color drained from her face and her eyes are wide again. My jaw is clenched and the muscle in my left cheek is pulsing.

"How dare you—"

"How dare I?" I ask. "How dare you? I _love_ her, Evelyn. And if you're too blind to see that, then there's really nothing I can say to you to change your mind."

She takes a breath. "Then what did you come here for, Tobias, if only to upset me?"

I lick my lips. "I came here because I was going to tell you that I'm going to propose to Tris…tonight," I say. "I wanted your blessing. I wanted you to know before I did it because I thought for some reason that you would be happy for me." I shake my head. "Just because your love life didn't turn out the way you wanted, doesn't mean you get to mess with mine."

I give her one last look before I turn away and leave the room. The meeting hadn't gone like I had originally planned it, but then again with Evelyn, nothing ever did work out the right way. I leave the building before heading toward Dauntless compound. I'm sure there's something there that I can use as a ring. Plus I need a distraction; I don't want to head back to Tris right away, as the plan isn't until later so that I can surprise. Well that, and the fact that I'm too angry at the moment to even think about explaining this to Tris. I always knew that Tris and my mother never got along, even after first meeting she had told Tris that she wasn't going to remain in my life. Said the woman who hadn't even been a part of my life when I was younger.

I shake my head and get into the tattoo shop and find something round and metallic and then head back down to my room. .I put away my things before going down to the pit to do a few runs and drills with the knives. After I shower and change, I grab my things and leave the compound heading back toward the Abnegation sector. It is dark out now and I'm sure that I've worried Tris for being gone so long, and she will probably yell at me. Except when I come through the door, she is not there to yell. "Tris?" I call out before shutting the door. I go up the stairs and find her in her room, curled up under the covers with my book on her chest. I pause for a second and watch her as she sleeps, kind of disappointed that I have to ruin this. I approach the bed and sit down next to her sleeping figure, placing my hand on her side, squeezing her lightly. She squirms. "Tris, wake up," I whisper, leaning down to kiss her softly. "Open your eyes."

She turns in the bed, away from me. "No," she mumbles, taking my hand in hers and nuzzles her face against my hand.

"Come on, Tris," I say again.

She groans. "But I'm comfy."

I chuckle and kiss her again. "Come on, it'll be worth it," I say.

She stays still for a few moments before turning to look at me with hooded eyes. "Fine. Because I love you," she smiles at me.

"Love you too," I say. "Meet me downstairs?"

"Are we going somewhere?" she asks.

"Yes…another game," I tell her.


	19. Chapter 19

**TRIS**

Something sparks in my mind when Tobias tells me that it is another game, but I am too tired to connect the pieces. Instead I just get dressed, pulling my black pants on and switching out Tobias' shirt for one of my own. I sit down on the bed and pull my shoes on before heading downstairs to meet Tobias, who is waiting at the door with a smile on his face.

"Why are you so happy?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at him, as I shrug on my jacket. He shakes his head and opens the door, ushering me out.

"Hurry, we've got to catch the train," he says, as he begins to walk down the streets to the train tracks. I follow him, still not sure where we are going and eventually I give up because I am still waking up. I knew that taking a nap was going to be a bad idea, but I fell asleep anyway. The fresh air is helping, and trying to keep up with Tobias' long legs is pumping my blood which is waking me up even more.

We climb up the railing to the train tracks and we stand there for a few moments until we see the train coming our away and I break into a run and jump onto the train before Tobias. I feel proud of myself, even though I'm sure he did it on purpose. I don't think that I could outrun him, even with enough training. He gets on board with me and I can't help myself from grinning. As groggy as I was, there was something about the train that always wakes me up. I lean against the walls of the train and Tobias crosses to me, resting his head against my own. I wrap my arms around him and close my eyes. I have become accustomed to having Tobias by my side during the past couple of weeks that not seeing for a day was more difficult than I had originally anticipated. Maybe it's because I was so worried about his safety the entire day. He kisses my forehead and I look up at him.

"What all did you do today?" I ask because I am curious. Obviously he came back in one piece so there is nothing to have been worried about. He lifts his shoulders in a shrug.

"Not much," he says.

I narrow my eyes at him. "Not much?" I repeat. "You were gone all day!"

"I know I was," he says. "I was working on something."

I glare at him. "Fine," I say. "Don't tell me what it is. I don't care anyway."

He laughs and pulls me against him in a hug. "Come on, don't be like that," he tells me. "I told you it would be worth it and I'm not lying to you. At least _I_ think it will be worth it."

I can't help but smile and nod against his chest. He tilts my chin up and kisses me softly. "What did _you_ do all day?"

"I cleaned the house," I say, wrinkling my nose. "I needed to keep my mind occupied while you were gone. Too many thoughts." I shake my head and smile. "But I'm excited for whatever you've got planned."

He grins down at me. "You should be," He says before taking a step back and hitting the button opening the door. I stand at the open door and look out to the destination of the train and I feel butterflies in my stomach when I realize where we are. I

I see the Ferris Wheel in the distance and I turn to look at Tobias, who is looking at me with that smile of his and the feelings intensify. I swallow. "You planned this?" I ask, my emotion showing through the crack in my voice. I clear my throat and I can't stop smiling.

"I did," he says. "Get ready to jump."

I watch as he jumps out and I take a step back before doing the same thing. I get to my feet and join Tobias. We head toward the towering Ferris Wheel, my hand in his, the warmth from the touch spreading through my entire body. I don't know what we're doing here…maybe it's another date? Considering we haven't had many of those, this is a nice surprise. "Are we going to climb that?" I ask, gesturing to the wheel. Last time we climbed that, I didn't exactly have the easiest experience getting down. He shakes his head and I feel my eyebrows come together on my forehead in confusion. "Then what?"

"I was thinking we'd try a more…_traditional_ approach with the wheel," he says.

"We're going to _ride_ that thing?" I ask, my voice echoing around the deserted buildings. "I don't think that's entirely safe…"

He turns to grin and me and raised a brow. "Hey now," he says. "Aren't you Dauntless?"

I smack his arm. "Rude," I tell him, but I can't stop my laugh. "What about you? Are you going to be okay?"

He shrugs and makes a face. "I'll be fine," he says. "I mean, I _did_ jump from a building the other day."

"Into a net!" I say. "This this is _really_ old, Tobias."

"I know, I know," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks uneasy as he looks up at height of the wheel. "I might have not thought this part all the way through."

"It's okay," I tell him. "We don't have to—"

He shakes his head. "Yeah, we kind of do," He says. "I rigged it together earlier and it's the best way to get over your fears is to face them, right?"

I look over him and touch his cheek. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he says, clearing his throat. "Come on."

We approach the wheel and I see he's figured out a way to get the wheel to function from up in one of the metal baskets. That was the brains in him…I wouldn't have been able to figure it out. I wonder how long it took him. He ushers me to the basket and I sit down, already holding onto the railing. Like I had said, it was old…it could fall apart. I look at him as he sits next to me and I take a breath as we start moving up. He takes us all the way to the top and his hand grabs mine, shaking a bit. "Just…don't look down," I say…the only words I can think of.

He looks at me and gives me an uneasy chuckle. "Sound advice," he says. I squeeze his hand.

"So what's the occasion?" I ask him. "What is so special that we came all the way back here?"

He licks his lips and shakes his head. "Everything," he says.

"Excuse me?"

"Everything is special," he says, then makes a face. "Okay, that sounds really bad and corny, but it's true."

I have no idea where he's going with this, so I smile back.

"Over the last couple of days, I've told you what you mean to me," he says. "And I can't think of any other way to say how much you've changed me. You've made me better and better was something I thought was lost forever with me." I open my mouth to speak but he shakes his head. "Let me just…get this out, okay?" I nod. "I had no idea that I could love someone as much as I love you. I didn't think that I could love, period. Especially not after everything I'd been through." I rub my lips together to keep myself from crying…speaking…making a sound. "And then when I got back to the Bureau and you had been shot…the thought of losing you…it terrified me more than anything. I can't do this without, Tris."

He reaches down into his pocket, which causes the basket to swing a bit and I heard him take an intake of breath, so I squeeze his hand again. He brings his hand back up, slower this time, and whatever he pulled out is hidden in his fist. I look up at his face and despite the sweat forming around his temples, he is smiling at me.

"Which is why when you brought up the idea of marriage yesterday, it didn't worry me, or scare me like you probably thought it was going to," Tobias continues. "I can't imagine anyone else that I would want to be with…that I would want to spend the rest of my life with. Because you...though you have your doubts sometimes, you're it for me."

This time I can't stop them…the tears have come through and are spilling onto my cheeks. I suck on the inside of my cheek to stop myself from outright sobbing.

"So Beatrice," he says my name softly and I feel my heart turn over in my chest. He opens his hand and I see a round metallic object…a _ring_, and I look back up at him. "Will you marry me?"

I laugh happily and nod before grabbing onto his shirt and kissing him. "Yeah," I say. "You're damn right I will."


	20. Chapter 20

**TOBIAS**

She said yes. That is all I can think about, even as we're making our way back down to the ground. I do not even think about how the height had scared me. With Tris, I almost forget about my fears, I am able to focus on her…the one bright thing in my life of past mistakes. After we get down and I stop the wheel, I take her hand and we walk with her head resting against my shoulder. In the world we live in, happiness is a rare thing. But I am glad to have found it with her. I don't believe that I would have found it…not the way that it is between the two of us. We walk around the empty streets of this small town in silence and I can't imagine a better night.

"So…"

Tris' voice breaks the silence and I do not care. I lift my head off of hers so that I can look down at her.

"We're going to get married," she says.

I grin. "Yeah, we are."

"You don't think that I'm too young?"

I shake my head at her question because even though I am two years older than her, I have rarely even though about her age. It doesn't matter to me, because she's the one that I want. "No, no I don't," I say.

"I don't know of anyone who was married at sixteen," she tells me. "Do you think there's a reason for that?"

"Yeah," I say. "Because they're not us."

She rolls her eyes at me. "I'm serious."

"So am I," I tell her. "We're not typical teenagers, Tris. Anyone can tell you that. We don't have to do things the way people think we should. I love you, and I know that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you…whether you like it or not," I say with a grin and she laughs. "And if people have a problem with that…they can just keep it to themselves."

She smiles. "You are crazy."

I shake my head. "Nah," I say. "I just know what I want."

She stops and looks up at me. I keep my hand in hers and I look down at her, staring into those beautiful eyes of hers. "You really love me, don't you?" she asks, her voice no more than a whisper.

I stare at her, confusion spreading across my features, because I do not understand her question. "What kind of a question is that?" I ask, reaching a hand up and resting it on her cheek. I step in so that our bodies are closer together.

"I know, I'm sorry," she says, closing her eyes and resting against my hand. I feel her warmth radiate through me and I smile down at her. "I don't know why I keep asking you stupid things like that," she says. I lean down and let my lips press against hers. Her lips are soft against my own and I don't want to pull away; don't want to ruin the moment. When I finally do, though, and open my eyes, she is looking up at me. "I love you so much," she says.

I smile and kiss her forehead. "I know," I tell her before I tug on her hand and we keep walking.

"You know this means I'm going to have to find you a ring now, right?" she asks looking up at me. "And I have no idea where to even start looking."

I chuckle. "I got yours from the tattoo parlor, actually," I tell her. She nods and looks down at it. "Smart…practical…and easy. I think I might have to do the same thing."

"Sounds good to me." I tell her. I don't want something extravagant. Hell, I don't need it. I could even go _without_ the ring, but the ring is a symbol…something to show other people that I am not available to them. Even though they already know that. Anyone who knows the two of us…I don't think anyone will really be surprised. I wonder if anyone will have the same reaction that Evelyn did though. I still can't believe the way she acted…I understand that she hates Tris…no, scratch that. I don't even understand that. Sure, she made questionable choices…but she did what she thought was right _at the time_. Who can say that haven't done that before? I certainly can't. The thing that really irks me about the entire thing with my mother is that _she chose me_. She picked me over ruling the city and releasing the death serum to those she thought were not agreeing with the decisions she had made. And now? It was like that night never even mattered. It was like it never even happened. If she had picked me, over them, why couldn't she support me on this one thing that I wanted to do with my life?

"What are you thinking about?" I hear Tris' voice breaking through my thoughts and I turn to look at her, offering her a smile.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," she says, yanking her hand free from mine and beginning to massage it. "You were squeezing my hand pretty hard just now. Is everything okay?"

I hesitate before speaking, and I know that she notices, because of the way her eyebrows come together on her head. No lies…no secrets. Even if the truth would ruin the moment, I know I have to tell her about my visit with my mother. "I saw Evelyn today."

She stops and shakes her head at me, her eyes wide. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah…I went to go see her to talk about you, actually."

"Me?" she sounds curious now…and I would have been if the roles were reversed. "Uh…okay. What did you guys talk about exactly?"

"I told her that I was going to ask you to marry me…and I went to talk to her to…I don't know, get her support or something, but she didn't take the news well."

"Well, what did she say?"

"She told me that I could do better."

Tris clenches her jaw and I see the fire of annoyance behind her eyes. I smirk. "And I told her that she shouldn't try to mess with my love life just because hers failed."

The annoyance leaves her face and she stares at me, wide eyed and surprised. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," I say. "She wanted to play the role of mother with me, but she obviously forgot how it goes."

She shakes her head at me. "You _are_ crazy," she says with a laugh. 

I grin. "Like you didn't know."


	21. Chapter 21

**TRIS**

We make it back to the house a few hours later and I am freezing. It had started snowing about an hour after the proposal and it had made it down my sweater and my tank top underneath is now wet and clinging to my body. I hadn't known where we were going so I'm not sure if Tobias planned on staying out so late, but I should have at least brought a thicker jacket. We get through the door and Tobias turns on the lights before turning to me and I reach up to brush the snow out of his hair. He grins down at me before doing the same to my own head. I wrinkle my nose at him and he kisses my cheek before he heads to turn on the heat while I go upstairs to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and pull the wet sweater over my head and shiver as the cold of the house reacts with my wet tank top. I tossed the jacket aside and quickly get rid of the rest of my clothes before getting into the shower and stand under the warm stream of water. A few moments later, the curtain moves aside and Tobias comes in behind me.

"Save some of that for me," he says and I laugh. I move so that we're both standing under the water and I rest my head against his chest with his arms around my lower back. Het sets his head on mine and I let out a sigh of relief. It was a long day. First he left on his "errand", which included talking to his mother, which I don't even want to think about, and then I had worried about him and where he was or what he was doing. Granted, I had slept for most of it, and that was probably because parts of my body were still healing. Trying to keep up with Tobias by running after the train had been difficult, but it was fun. It is how I am. I feel fine during certain parts of the day, and other times, I felt like I was back in the Pit with Peter kicking my ass. It did not feel pleasant. "So…what do you think? Was it worth it?"

I smile, but don't say anything; I keep my head resting on his chest, mulling the words over on my tongue. I want to make him antsy. "Well, I have to think about that," I say. "Because it _did_ start snowing _and_ I got wet." He chuckles and I feel it vibrate through his chest. "It was actually…kind of perfect."

"So I did okay?"

I lift my head and look up at him. "I can't imagine a better way for that to have gone."

"I should have done it when it was warmer."

I shake my head. I don't think that I could have waited for him to wait until the snow starts to melt. I'm not even sure _when_ we will be getting married…but the being engaged thing…it feels pretty amazing.. "No…" I tell him. "Tonight was great, I promise."

"Alright, fine," he says with a smirk. I stand on my toes and kiss him softly. When I'm back down on my feet, I reach around him to turn the water off. His arms are still around me, so I have to fight him to pull them off of me so that I can get out of the tub. When I get out, I stand in the cold air, and I shiver at the change in temperature. Although the heat has started to spread through the house, the air still makes the hair on my arm stand on end.

"Ugh, cold," I say grabbing a towel and wrapping it around myself before throwing one at Tobias. He isn't looking so it hits him in the face and I can't myself from laughing. He shakes his head at me.

"You're gonna regret that," he says. I stare at him, frozen for a second before I take off running. I hear him coming down the hall after me, but his legs are longer than my own and before I am able to make it through the bedroom, his arms are around me and I am screaming as he carries me to the bed.

"What are you doing?" I ask , my voice coming out in giggles as his fingers are all over my body. "You're getting the bed wet!" He doesn't answer, just keeps tickling me as I squirm beneath him. He keeps it going for a few more moments, before he collapses on the bed next to me. I am breathless and my chest is rising and falling as I try to catch my breath. When I finally do, I turn to look at him. "You're a jerk."

He turns to look at me and gives me that side smile of his. "You don't mean that," he tells me. I shake my head and move across the bed toward him. I hook one leg over him and lean down to kiss him softly. His hands come up and one locks behind my neck, holding me in place against him. I let out a sigh as I part my lips to deepen the kiss. He groans and tugs me on top of him. With my legs on either side of him, I lean in close, my tongue brushing against his and my hands gripping the pillow below him. I break the kiss by tugging on his lower lip and I look down at him. "You're trying to drive me up the wall, aren't you?" he asks, his hands coming around my back and holding me close."

I grin. "Maybe just a little."

"Well if that's the case then you're definitely succeeding," Tobias says before pulling me in for another kiss. After about a minute, he pushes me off of him and gets up to grab a shirt from the bag before tossing it over at me. I pull it on as I watch as he pulls his shorts on before coming to join me back in bed.

"You're not even going to change the sheets?" I ask him "You want to sleep on wet sheets?"

He glares at me. "Hush," he says. But then he gets up again and leaves the room before coming back with new sheets. I grin and get off of the bed tossing the pillows onto the floor as I strip the bed. We begin stretching the sheet over the bed and he looks across at me as I fit it over one corner of the bed. "I think we should go back to the Bureau tomorrow," he says.

"Tomorrow?" I ask. Part of me wants to stay and continue living this perfect little life that I've created with Tobias. But our lives didn't stop going after we showed up here. Our lives were still waiting for us back at the Bureau. I nod as I put a new pillowcase on one of the pillows. I sit down on the bed and hold the pillow to my chest. "Tomorrow sounds good," I reply.

"Are you sure?" he asks me.

"We'll we're going to have to go back soon," I tell him. "We didn't exactly tell anyone where we were going. They're _not_ going to be very happy about the way we just left."

He groans and shakes his head. "That's going to be awful," he says. He bites his lower lip. "Maybe we can put it off another day?"

I shake my head. "No," I tell him. "Tomorrow or we'll just keep putting it off."

He nods and gets into bed. He kisses my cheek and I place my pillow down before lying down next to him. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me into his chest. I close my eyes. "Love you," I murmur against his chest sleepily.

"Love you more."


	22. Chapter 22

**TOBIAS**

I wake up to hear Tris going through the bag on the floor. I shift in the bed and roll over to look at her. "What are you doing?" I ask her. I don't feel like either of us have had enough sleep. "Come back to bed," I tell her. She looks back at me and shakes her head. I sigh and look at the watch on the wall of the room and see that it's barely dawn. I get out of bed and cross to her, sitting next to her on the floor. "Why are you awake?" I ask her.

"I had another nightmare," she tells me, her voice quiet. I press my lips to her shoulder rest my head against her own. I feel a little guilty that I didn't wake with her like I normally do. But I must have been more tired that I originally thought when falling asleep. I hate that when it comes to her nightmares there is nothing I can do to protect her. There is nothing I can do to keep her safe. When she has these dreams, I feel inadequate.

I let out a breath and close my eyes. "I'm sorry," I tell her. Her lips press to my head and I feel her shake her head.

"It's not your fault. It's me…I can't shake this feeling that something is bound to go wrong," she says. "I can't honestly get to be this happy for so long."

I chuckle and pull away so that I can look at her face. "It seems kind of unreal, doesn't it?" I ask her.

She shakes her head. "It's throwing me off. Things were bad for so long that _this_, here, feels like a dream. And when I go to sleep, that's real life."

I shake my head and take her hands in my own. "_This_, us, is real. We're real. Don't forget that. We deserve this as much as the next person." I pull her toward me so that I can kiss her and she sighs against my lips. I put my arm under her legs and lift her, carrying her back to the bed. She doesn't fight me, just rests her head against the pillow. I pull the covers over her and lay next to her. "Sleep for a bit and then we can have breakfast and then head back to the Bureau."

She nods, her eyes already closing and I smile. I wait to make sure she falls asleep before I close my eyes. Her dreams may be the only place I can't take care of her…but reality…_our_ reality…is where I can make sure she's safe.

I wake first and change into some clean clothes. I leave Tris in the bed before going downstairs to fix us some breakfast sandwiches. When I'm done, I head back upstairs to wake her, but she's already up and getting ready. I watch as she pulls the shirt over her head and I see the bruises. I take in a sharp breath as I cross to her, running my fingers gently across them. "How are you feeling?" I ask her.

She shrugs as she moves to the bag to pull on her tank top. "I'm just a little sore," she says. "But that's to be expected."

I shake my head. "I shouldn't have pushed you so far," I say.

She looks up at me. "You didn't push me. I wanted to come. It's not like you pushed me off of a moving train," she grins. "I jumped willingly…and I didn't rip my stiches, so it's all good. Though I'm sure Matt is going to chastise me."

I make a face at the name and she laughs. "Don't be jealous," she tells me. "It doesn't look good on you."

"You either," I tell her. "But you really don't have anything to worry about in that department. Nita will _not_ be an issue."

She nods. "She better not be."

I pull her into a kiss. "No one else even compares."

She kisses me back before pulling away and looking at the food in my hand. "You made breakfast?" she asks. I nod and hand her a sandwich. She takes a bite and lets out a moan. "I'm starving. I forgot to eat yesterday," she tells me.

"We'll have to do better with that," I say. I move to the bag and zip it shut before looking at her. "Should we take the bag or leave it here for when we come back?"

She swallows, shaking her head. "No I have clothes that I want to take back to Christina," she says.

"All right," I grab the bag and we head downstairs. I stop in the main entrance and turn off the heat and lights of the building. Tris is right behind me as we head outside. I take her hand as we walk toward the train. We get there and once we're on, riding toward the gate surrounding the city. We've been on this train so many times before it was like a second nature to us. I've spent a good portion of the last couple of years riding back and forth on this train.

"They're not going to be happy with us," she says. I let out a low whistle and shake my head.

"No, they are not."

She laughs and I look out as the fast approaching fence before jumping out. She follows me and we walk out toward the car. I had left the keys in the car because I had a feeling that no one would take a car that was just sitting outside of the fence. I don't even think that anyone has been riding the train much, especially not out this far. We drive for a few smiles on our way out of the city and back to the Bureau. I feel a little anxious the closer we get. I had enjoyed spending time with Tris, being on our own for the last couple of days; and going back, knowing I would have to share her.

I park the car outside of the building; I turn to look at her. "Are you ready?"

She takes a breath and looks over at me. "As I'll ever be," she tells me before we get out of truck and head toward the doors.


	23. Chapter 23

**TRIS**

I don't know what to expect. No, that's a lie. I expect to be yelled at and chastised. Given everything that has happened and everything that we've been through, leaving without telling anyone where we are going, is definitely a cause for worry. I get out of truck and step out onto the snow, shivering in the cold air, pulling the collar of my jacket closer. Tobias is right behind me, the duffle bag over his shoulder as he free hand takes mine. We walk through the doors and I look up at him. My heart is beating a little faster in my chest. I'm not sure who we will see first. He must see the worry in my eyes, because he squeezes my hand to reassure me. We walk down the halls, which are not as busy as I expected them to be. I look up at the clock on the wall and it's about eight in the morning, which is around the time we had woken up while we were here. Maybe everyone was still sleeping?

We keep walking, undisturbed, until we reach the dorm. I hear talking from the other side of the door and I take a breath before pushing it open. As we walk through, the conversation stops and everyone is looking at us. I feel the blood rush to my cheeks and I lift my hand in an awkward wave. "Hey."

Christina is the first one to speak. "Are you kidding me?!"

I turn my attention to her and lift my shoulders in a shrug. "Sorry?"

"Sorry?" I hear Caleb's voice from the other side of the room. "That's all?"

I open my mouth to speak, to defend myself, but I am interrupted by Christina again. "No. No, you don't get a chance to talk your way out of this," she says coming toward me. I can't help but smile as she takes my left hand in hers and begins to pull me away from Tobias. She stops, midstride, to turn and look down at my hand. "What is this?" she asks looking up at me. I look back at Tobias, who's grinning at me and I bite my lower lip before looking back at Christina. She shakes my hand. "What is this?"

Caleb walks over to us and sees my hand before looking at Tobias. I glance up at his face and notice that he doesn't look too happy about it. I can only assume that it's because I'm his younger sister. But I also assume it's because we just came back from a trip that no one knew anything about. "Uhm…" I don't know what to say. Everyone has started crowding in and Christina will not let go of my hand. "Tobias asked me to marry him," I say. "And I said yes."

"What?" Caleb asks, looking from me to Tobias, who is still standing by the door. I'm not worried for Tobias, if my brother went after him, it would not be Tobias who would be hurt. But Caleb is still family, and Tobias is family, and I don't want them to hate each other. I finally manage to pull my arm away from Christina and she has a smile on her lips. Good, at least one person is happy for us. I look back at Tobias and raise my eyebrows at him, urging him to come further into the room.

"Yeah," he says. "I know I should have asked you for you blessing, but it was really kind of a spur of the moment thing." I look at him. "Spur of the moment, but something I had been thinking about for months."

I can't hold back my smile and he grins at me.

"Wait…you guys were gone for almost four days," Caleb says. "Where did you even go?"

"We went back to the city," I answer. "I was feeling a little nostalgic, not that I Have any idea why…but we did. We spent a night in the Dauntless compound, which by the way, Christina, I brought you some clothes. They're in the duffle—"

"Oh thank god," she says moving toward Tobias who hands her the bag. Everyone else who had been crowding us slowly go back to their previous activities. I'm sure our coming back isn't nearly as exciting as trying to figure out what happened to us. She steps to her bed and pulls out her clothes and begins changing. I turn my attention away from her. Candor…everything out in the open.

"Then we went back to the house," I look at Caleb, who turns his attention from Christina and back to me, so he knows what I'm talking about and ne nods. He's the only one that is really paying attention now, but that's okay. I only want to share this with him. "I brought you something," I tell him heading to over where Christina left the bag and I pull out the picture that I had found. I hand it to him and he smiles.

"Where did you find this?" he asks.

"I kept it in a box in my closet," I say. "It's the only one we have of us…together as family."

He takes it from me and smiles. "I didn't mean to sound mad or overprotective," he says. "I just…you guys just left. Christina thought that maybe you two locked yourselves in that room of yours—"

"You were the one who suggested it," Christina says coming over to join us, looking more relaxed than she had in days, donned in her Dauntless black. "I merely went to go check."

I look between them. It had only been four days…well four days, plus the amount of time I was in the hospital, clinging to life and then the few days Tobias spent in our room. What had I missed while I was away? I look to Tobias to see if he notices, but he has moved to one of the beds, sitting down and thumbing through the old book we brought back. He'd been so attentive the last few days that he deserves a little time to himself. I look back at Christina and she's grinning at me.

"So how did he do it?" she asks me. 

"How did who do what?"

She rolls her eyes. "How did Tobias propose?"

"Oh," I say. "He took me to the Ferris Wheel. Took me to the top-"

"The top?" she asks. "Did you guys climb it again?"

I shake my head. No one else knows about Tobias' fears. No one but me, and I prefer to keep it that way, and I'm sure that Tobias does too. No one else knows the significance of the proposal. But I guess it's better that way. They'll just think it was an ordinary proposal. But he and I know that it was much, _much_, much more than that. "No, we rode up to the top. In one of the carts. It was kind of terrifying, actually. I thought it was going to collapse to the ground," I say with a grin.

She takes me over to her bed, which is a few over from the one that Tobias is sitting on. I feel him look over at us for a second before turning his attention back to the book. I sit down next to her. "What else did you guys do? Did you see anyone? Evelyn?"

I shake my head, sitting up a little straighter at the woman's name. She just rubs me the wrong way. And it's even worse now because of what she had said to Tobias. It's fine that she hates me, but her treating her son that way? I would never want that for my own child.

"I didn't see her, but he did," I say. Her eyes widen.

"What happened?"

I shake my head again. "He went to tell her about this," I say lifting my left hand. "And she kind of flipped out telling him that he could do better."

"What did he do?"

"I walked away." Tobias says.

We look up at him and I bite my lower lip, a little embarrassed that we were talking about him and that he heard us. Granted, he _was_ only two beds over. I am normally smarter than that, but at the moment, I didn't care if he had heard us. When it came to Tobias, I wasn't embarrassed about anything anymore.


	24. Chapter 24

**TOBIAS**

Being back is nice. The last few days were like a vacation for Tris and myself, so coming back is like a reunion. Tris looks happy talking to Christina and it makes me smile knowing that she has that relationship with her. Friends since that first day on the train. I had noticed it the first time I saw them together. Happy, innocent…_brave_. They had had some rough patches, dealing with the loss of Will had been difficult for both of them, but they pulled through. I turn my attention back to my book and am only half listening when Tris tells Christina about the way I proposed. No one but Tris knows…and Amar of course, as he was the one who ran my fear landscape when I first arrived at Dauntless. Things were a little off between the two of us, as I had believed he had died years ago.

I smile when Tris recounts the memory and I lose myself in the pages of the book until I hear my mother's name. I tense, waiting or the response from Christina, waiting for something to be said. I use the break in silence to answer the question. "I walked away." I tell them. Christina looks at me with the same look of respect I've gained from her in the past couple of months we've all been together. I close the book and get up, moving over to where Tris is sitting and I kiss the side of her head. "I'm going to head up to the room and shower," I tell her.

She nods. "I'll be here."

I take the book with me, not really wanting to be surrounded by people. It's not that I mind it really, it's just that at moment, I'd rather be alone. I was used to solitude, being able to think without people hassling me. Being alone was a second nature to me. It was how I preferred things. I get up to the room and I toss the book on the bed before getting into the shower. I let the warm water wash over me and I run my hands over my face, closing my eyes. So much has happened in the last few weeks. Saving the city, reconnecting with my mother, coming back and almost losing Tris….it was all stressful and I honestly don't know what I would have done if I had lost Tris. I wouldn't want to do it.

No.

That's a lie.

If I had lost Tris…I'm not sure I would have been able to do it on my own. I would have been a coward and taken the route that Peter had taken. I would have wanted to forget. Losing Tris…it would have been like losing myself and I'm not sure I could have survived. I close my eyes and shake my head, getting rid of the thoughts, trying to get read of the heavy feeling in my chest. It's painful and a bit of a burden. I feel like I can barely breathe. I rest my head against the tile of the bathroom and breathe in. I feel like I am at the top of Hancock Tower, looking down at the thousand feet beneath me. My hand fumbles for the shower knob, turning it off and I push the curtain aside. I bring the towel to my face, drying it and leaning back against the wall.

Thinking about that…I didn't think it was going to have such an impact on me. Especially since it was a past piece of information that _had not happened._ I don't know how long I stand there, my eyes closed, my breathing labored. But I eventually make it out of the bathroom and pull my clothes on. As I'm dressing, the door opens and I turn to see Tris coming through it. She's smiling, her cheeks bright. I must still look like I'm in pain or something, because her eyebrows come together on her forehead, her smile leaving her lips. She comes to me and places her hands on my cheeks.

"Are you okay?" she asks me. "What's wrong?"

I shake my head and smile at her. "I'm fine," I tell her. "I think I stayed in the shower for too long though…I feel dizzy." I know we promised no secrets, but I feel stupid about what happened in the shower. It _was_ stupid.

She goes the bathroom and brings me a cup filled with water. She hands it to me and I sit down on the bed, drinking from it. I close my eyes and she sits next to me resting her head against my shoulder. "Be careful," she tells me. "I don't need you passing out on me."

I chuckle and set the water down on the table next to the bed. "No passing out," I tell her. "I promise. You're stuck with me."

She laughs and kisses my bare shoulder before laying back on the bed, her legs hanging off of the bed. Her eyes are closed, but the smile is back on her lips. That's good. She reaches out and grabs my arm and pulls me down next to her and she laces her fingers with my own. I close my eyes and let out a sigh. It was just a memory…not even a memory. It was a _what if_. A what if that I shouldn't have worried myself with. She squeezes my hand I turn to look at her.

"So I think that Christina likes my brother," she says wrinkling her nose.

I chuckle. "What?" I ask. "You don't want Christina dating your brother?"

"No," she says turning and leaning on her elbow to look at me. "That's not what I'm saying."

"Then why?"

"It's weird though, right?" she asks. "They're not supposed to be together."

"Who else are they going to be with?" I ask. "Any of those people back in the city? Any of those people who don't have any idea what the truth is?"

She falls back on the bed with a sigh. "You're right. They deserve to be happy."

"Well does Caleb even like her?"

She shrugs. "I saw him look at her when she was changing."

"_Everyone_ was looking at Christina when she was changing." I saw. She looks at me and I grin. "Not me, obviously." She rolls her eyes at me and I smirk. "Come on, I've got you," I say pulling her close to me. "Why do I need to look at anyone else?"

"Because I'm small, and skinny," she says.

I roll my eyes and run my hands down her body, pulling her against me. "You're small and skinny, but you're the most beautiful person I've ever met." She looks up at me and I kiss her. When I pull away, she nestles herself against my chest and I hold her close. "You're all I need."


	25. Chapter 25

**TRIS**

I wake up to a knocking on the door and I shifted in bed, rolling over to get closer to Tobias to cut out the sound, but he wasn't there. I open my eyes and look around the room, but he's nowhere to be seen and the light in the bathroom is off. I push myself out of the bed and pull on a sweater before walking toward the door. Opening it, I see Caleb and he comes inside, pushing past me handing me a muffin, as he enters.

"Get dressed," he tells me moving to sit down on the bed. He's looking up at me expectantly. "What are you waiting for?"

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

He smiles at me. "Just get dressed," he says. "Eat that, and then get dressed. And then meet me down in the dorms."

"But why?" I ask.

Caleb just grins at me and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. I have never been so confused. I set the muffin on the table and pinch off a little before I go to the dresser and pull out some clothes that we had brought back with us. I wear my black jacket and tank top as well as my black pants. I may not be Dauntless anymore, but these are the clothes I've felt most comfortable in. I finish off the muffin and throw the wrapping in the trash before I leave the room, shutting the door behind me. I still have no idea where Tobias went, there was no note, no nothing. Part of me is worried about me, but the other part tells me to relax, because Tobias is safe. Tobias can take care of himself.

When the doors of the elevator open, I turn to make my way down the hallway to the dorms where Caleb had said to meet. Before I go in, I hear my name, and I turn, not really expecting knowing who I am expecting. Matthew is standing there and grinning at me.

"Hey you," he says. "Welcome back."

"Thanks," I say. After everything that had gone down that day, I hadn't really spent much time with him. I hadn't really had a chance to do so, and I felt a little guilty about that. I had only wanted to spend time with Tobias, and that was selfish of me. My father wouldn't have been too pleased with the way I have treated other people in the past few weeks. Abnegation may not have been the faction I chose, but it was the one I grew up in.

"So how are you feeling?" he asks me. "Healing alright?"

I nod. "Well I've definitely felt better," I tell him with a grin. "But other than that, I'm great."

He smiles. "Good, I'm glad."

We stand there after that, in silence. I'm not sure what to say to him. Taking down the Bureau was the plan, but we had never really talked about what we were going to do afterward. We never thought about the lull we were all going to experience with the leaders of the Bureau now believing that there was no such thing as a genetic defect. We didn't get that far in our talks. Things were hypothetical. It was all on a step by step basis. We didn't actually think we could do it. I turn to look at the door to the dorms and that's when he speaks.

:"Oh yeah," he says. "If you want, you can come down to the lab and see what's been going on in the city. The cameras are all still set up."

I turn back to look at him, slowly understanding the implications of his words. The smile on my face, freezing where it sits. "_All_ of them?" I ask, my cheeks heating up as I meet his gaze.

"Yes," he tells me, with a small smile on his lips. "All of the cameras are up and running. In Abnegation and In Dauntless.

I swallow. "Are you telling me what I think you're telling me, Matthew?" I ask, clenching my teeth. My cheeks aren't pink because I'm embarrassed; they're pink because I'm angry.

"You had to have known we'd be monitoring," he says. "Especially after what had been going on in recent months."

And that's when I snap. I don't care how injured I am, or the fact that I'm a guest here in the Bureau. The idea of someone _watching_ me while I was intimate with Tobias, it pisses me off. I let out a slight scream as I punch him in the face and he cries out for help. The doors to the dorm open and I am being pulled off of Matthew by my brother.

"Tris, what the hell?" Christina asks me.

I look around at everyone who files out of the room and stares at me in shock. I'm not surprised, it wasn't really like me to do something like this, but I couldn't stop myself. It was one thing to know that I had been watched my entire life by the Bureau, but to have someone that I had considered a friend to _watch_ as I was with my boyfriend, it kind of sent me over the edge.

"She just came at me," Matthew sputters, blood dripping from his nose onto his shirt. "She's crazy."

I open my mouth, surprised that that even came from him. "Are you kidding me?" I try to fight my way out a Caleb's arms, but he's gotten surprising stronger and is able to hold me in place.

"What's going on?"

I look up and see Tobias turning the corner, his eyes narrowed in confusion, looking from Matthew to me, not sure what to make of the scene.

"What exactly did I miss?"

At this point, I don't care who knows about what Tobias and I do in our time alone together. One punch was not enough to Matthew's actions. He deserved _much_ worse.

"She came at me!" Matthew exclaims.

Tobias doesn't even look at him. He is staring at me and only me. I know that if I tell Tobias what Matthew has done, then Matthew will end up in the infirmary or worse. I feel violated and betrayed. Who in their right mind would do something like that?

"Tris?"

I swallow before speaking, my words come out short. "He watched us," I stay, meting Tobias' dark blue eyes. His eyebrows come together, trying to make sense of what I'm saying. "At Dauntless and at the house."

And then it registers. He turns to look at Matthew, his jaw clenched and the muscle in his temple pulsing, I can see it from here. "You did _what_?!"

His voice echoes down the hall and Caleb releases me. Murmurs of outrage begin to fall from everyone's lips, and they're all looking at him with disgust and anger. Matthew didn't look scared when he had told me what he'd done. But now with Tobias in the hallway, and all of our friends standing there with us, he looks completely terrified. Tobias takes a step toward him and Matthew flinches.

"What made you think that you could do something like that?" Tobias asks, his voice hard and intimidating. If he had come at me this way, I wouldn't just be afraid. I'd be scared for my life. He tries to run away backwards, but trips over his feet and is now crawling away from Tobias, who is sill walking toward him. I can't help but feel a little proud as I watch Tobias in action.

"I—I," Matthew is unable to speak, stuttering and blood falling from his lips. He's pale and shaking , still trying to get away. He looks pretty pathetic and I hear my father's voice in my head, and it makes me a little annoyed that he would choose a time like this to step in.

"You had no right," Tobias says. I move down the hallway to join Tobias, slipping my hand into his and he stops to look at me. I shake my head. "But-"

"Not worth it," I say, not even glancing in Matthew's direction. Tobias looks at him and then back at me and I can see the disappointment in his face. I bite my lip to keep myself from smiling.

He sighs and looks at him. "You're going to delete that footage. You're going to shut down the cameras in that house and back in the room at Dauntless," his deep voice is full of authority and I don't stop myself from smiling this time. "If I find out that you've been watching again, I _will_ kill you."

Matthew nods and stumbles to his feet, running away from the group of us. I sigh and rest my head on Tobias' shoulder. He's shaking with anger and I don't blame him. We turn back to look at everyone else.

"So…" I say forcing a smile. "Was there some reason I was asked to come down here?"

They all stare at me, still in shock, I'm guessing from what just happened. Then Christina gasps. "Oh!"

I look at her and shake my head. "What?"

Caleb clears his throat and nods at Tobias, who starts leading me through the doors of the dorm. I don't really notice anything different until I see the cake and I turn to look at Tobias who is grinning at me. "Happy birthday," he says.

I don't know what to say. Having been raised in Abnegation, I had never had a celebration for my birthday. I hadn't even remembered that it _was_ my birthday. But Caleb must has mentioned it to someone, because here I was, in the dorms, standing in front of a birthday cake that was meant for me. Matthew was a past issue. We would deal with him later or not at all, given his decisions. All I could focus on was what had been done for me. I smile and turn to look at my brother. My brother who had been the epitome of Abnegation when we were growing up.

"Was this you?" I ask.

"This was everyone," he tells me with a grin.

I go to hug him and bury my face in his neck. Despite everything that has happened between the two of us, he is still my brother. He is my family. They are all my family. "Thank you," I whisper to him. He hugs me tight.

"You're welcome."

I pull away from him before turning to the rest of the room. "You guys are amazing, you know that right?" I ask with a grin.

Christina comes up beside me and throws her arm around my shoulder. "We know," she says with a laugh, as she ushers me toward the cake. I look up at Tobias, who has a smile on his lips as he watches me. Our eyes meet and he mouths "I love you" from across the room.

I mouth "I know" back to him and he laughs quietly. As selfish as it sounds, I can't wait to get back up to the room and spend the night with him. It _is_ my birthday. And I can have anything I want, right?


	26. Chapter 26

**TOBIAS**

I'm not sure who did it, but someone found alcohol. Obviously I wouldn't put it past any of the Dauntless to get something to liven up the party, but for me to let loose and drink an entire bottle by myself? Well…we deserved a night to have some fun. When I had attending parties like this in the past, I would stand and talk with others in the same field as my own, trying to trick myself into thinking that I was actually having a good time. But here, in this place, I _am _having a good time. It doesn't take much, I find Tris in the middle of the room, dancing and laughing with Christina. Despite everything that's gone on it feels nice to forget…nice to let go. If there's anyone who deserves to let to, it's her. I take a drink from the bottle in my hand and can't help but smile as I watch her. She looks happy, blissful and like myself, maybe a little bit too drunk. Christina leans in to whisper something in her friend's ear and they laugh together and I can't stop myself from joining them. The shorter girl points at me and Tris follows her finger and smiles at me. I smile back and raise the bottle at her. She raises her cup and we both take a drink.

After the song ends, Tris finds me leading against the wall, I have stumbled over here, not sure if I can make it anywhere else without falling. I feel dizzy, but in a good way. Her cheeks are red and she leans her body against mine, kissing me. We have both had too much to drink. But in the moment, amidst the celebration and music, neither of us seems to care.

"Happy birthday," I tell her, resting my free hand on her waist. My other hand is still wrapped around the bottle.

"Thank you!" she answers, taking the bottle from me and taking a long drink. "Is this irresponsible of us?"

I shrug. "Probably." 

She kisses me again. "Let's go upstairs," she says breathily after she pulls away.

I grin at her. "I don't know if I can make it up there," I answer honestly. She grabs my hand and pulls me toward her from the wall.

"We'll lean on each other."

We stumble out of the room; everyone else is probably as drunk as we are, so they don't notice us leaving. Or if they do, they know better than to not stop us. I drop the bottle on our way out, because my hands on Tris as she leads us toward the elevator. This is partially because I'll probably fall over if I don't hold onto something, and partially because I don't want to stop touching her. In my current inebriated state, my want for her is stronger than it normally is. It's becoming a little bit harder to control.

I don't know how, but we finally make it up to our room and once we're inside, she turns around and tugs on my shirt, pulling me against her. I don't fight her, because I don't want to and my hands are on her waist, picking her up and kissing her back with ferocity. She moans against my lips and I feel myself start to come unraveled. The way that I love this girl is nothing like I've never felt before. She can drive me crazy with even just the smallest smile, the slightest touch. And she knows it. She knows that I am powerless against her in moments like these.

I toss her down onto the bed and pull my shirt over my head before I start working on my pants. She is doing the same thing as I am, her shirt already off and she reaches behind her to undo the bra and I have a hard time keeping my eyes on her face. I see her smirk at me as she throws it aside. I swallow as I join her on the bed. She presses her body against my own and she kisses me, her fingers moving up to tangle in my hair. My hands wrap around her back, holding her tight and let out a groan as she tugs on my lower lip. "Tris," I whisper. She shivers against me and I lay her down on the bed so that I can pull away the last of her clothing.

She stares up at me with those dark eyes, biting down on her lower lip and I nearly lose myself. I groan as I lean down to kiss her, my hands roaming about her body, teasing and tugging her with my fingertips, eliciting moans with every brush of skin. My fingers find her heat and her legs spread with another moan as I tease her, playing with her, pushing my fingers gently back and forth inside of her. She gasps against my lips, her nails scratching down my back. I groan and kiss her roughly, my thumb pressing down on her clit before running in circular motions. She bucks up into my hand and my need for her becomes even stronger. She whispers my name and I pull my hand away from her.

I push her legs apart before I thrust into her without warning. She lets out a loud moan, and arches into my body and I roll my hips against hers. My lips are on her neck and sucking, tasting every part of her that I can before I move down to suck on one of her breasts. I keep my hips rocking against hers, and she matches me thrust for thrust. With every motion, her moans grow louder and I don't stop my motions until she tightens around me and collapses onto the bed with a gasp of pleasure. I groan as I end with her, but don't leave my spot. Instead I rest my head on her chest and her hands on my back .We breathe in sync and I press a kiss to her collarbone.

After a few moments, she pushes me off of her with a laugh telling me, "I can't breathe," and so I lay next to her. She rolls around to face me and presses her lips to mine. I use my feet to kick up the blanket from the bottom of the bed and pull it up around us. She nestles in close to me and I rest my hand on her lower back. "I love you," she tells me. "And I love this…but if we keep doing this without protection, I may end up pregnant before we get married." I open my mouth to speak but she interrupts me. "I'm not saying I want to stop," she adds quickly. "Because I can't do that…I can't get enough of you, actually."

I smirk. "Me neither," I reply.

She wrinkles her nose at me with that cute smile of hers. "But we should probably go back to Dauntless to get some stuff to be safe," she says.

I nod. Because as ready as I am to marry Tris, I don't know how I feel about children just yet. She and I are both still young. My nineteenth birthday coming up, and her seventeenth just passing. Back in the city, before, normal couples had their children early. But we weren't a normal couple. We are far from normal.

"We can go in a couple days," I tell her. "I think we'll need to sleep off all the alcohol we drank tonight."

She nods. "Agreed," she tells me. "But it was a good distraction. A welcome one."

"You deserved it," I say

She shakes her head and leans into give me another kiss.. "_We_ deserved it."


	27. Chapter 27

**TRIS**

I wake with a pounding headache and with the light peeking in from the curtains, it doesn't exactly help my current situation; I groan and roll over in bed, pulling the blanket with me. I roll into Tobias and he opens his eyes and squints at me from under the covers.

"I feel like I'm dying," he tells me with a groan as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me in closer.

I nod. "I agree," I say before leaning forward to kiss him. "But good morning."

"Don't acknowledge it," he says with a smirk. "Maybe it will go away."

I laugh but then immediately regret it. "No," I say groaning. "Don't make me laugh, it hurts." He kisses my collarbone and I nestle in close to him. "This feels nice though," I tell him, closing my eyes and resting in against his chest. The heat that radiates from him feels nice. "Do you have anything planned for today?"

I feel him shake his head. "Bed and sleep and then maybe food later," he answers. I grin. "You like that plan?"

"I _love_ that plan," I say, nodding.

There is a knock on the door and we both groan. "Go away!" I call out. They knock again.

"Seriuosly?" Tobias asks as she gets out of the bed. I peek out from under the covers and see that he's naked. I throw a pillow across the room at him.

"Cover yourself!" I hiss at him as he heads for the door.

He opens it and I hear Christina's voice. "We figured you guys would need food…and water," she says. I can hear the smirk in her voice. Thank god it wasn't Caleb who came up here.

"Yeah…feel free to stay up here all day."

_That_ was Caleb. I let out another groan and go back to hiding under the covers.

"Is she okay?" Caleb asks.

"Oh yeah, she's fine," Tobias answers. "Thanks though. See you guys later." The door closes and I look up at him. "They brought muffins."

I make a face. "I can't even think about eating," I say. "But I will take some water."

He hands me a cup and I sit up and drink from it, before setting the empty cup down on the table. I sigh and lay down again, looking up at him. "If we go back," I pause. "_When_ we go back, we're going to make one hundred percent sure that Matthew's taken down the surveillance."

Tobias freezes with the cup on his lips. His eyes narrow and his jaw is clenched as he puts the cup down. "I had almost forgotten about him," he said shaking his head. "I'll make sure he takes it down. Or else, I will come back to kill him."

I shudder. "I can't believe he _watched_ us," I cover my face with my hands. "The fact that he's seen me naked…"

I heard him suck in a breath and I move my hands to reach out for one of his. When I find one, I squeeze his hand and he moves to lay down next to me again. "It's sick, is what it is," he says. "Who does something like that?"

I shrug, shaking my head. "Crazy people," I answer pressing my lips against his shoulder. He smiles at me and I nod. "We'll take care of it before we go back."

"Maybe we'll just have him shut down surveillance of everything," he said. "Shut off the entire experiment. Or what's left of it."

"We probably should," I say. "But if we do that, there's no way of knowing if shutting down the experiment will cause problems for us inside of the city."

He nods. "Yeah," he shrugs. "Well…at least you and I will be free to do what we want in the privacy of our rooms."

"Oh yeah? What exactly d you want to do?" I ask him teasingly.

He tickles me playfully before speaking. "Right now? I want to sleep," he says with a yawn. I give off one of my own, and feel my eyelids start to get heavy. "And then we'll talk about what I want to do to you."

I laugh and kiss him. "I love you," I tell him.

He kisses me back. "Love you too."

I wake up a few hours later, feeling way better than I did that morning and I leave Tobias in bed as I go to the bathroom to shower. My body needs hydration, in any form that it can come in. I stand under the water. Despite everything that's happened between the two of us…things that have gone on in our lives. I lost my parents, the lives that we had known came crashing down around us and we fought hard to try to piece it back together. To make things better for everyone. I wouldn't want to change anything between us. Life would be easier if my parents were around, I would have had someone else to rely on…someone I could talk to about everything. But that's something that I can't change. They're gone. But I still have Tobias. And Christina, Caleb, Peter, George. I have a lot of people that I can rely on…and I wouldn't change that for anything. They are my family now.

I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around me before going back into the room. Tobias is sitting up and rubbing his temples with a pained look on his face. I grab him some more water before taking it over to him. "Drink up, "I tell him. "it'll help, I promise."

He takes the cup from me and downs it all in one go. I go to fill it again. "I think I may have had way more alcohol then you did." He says.

I grin and hand him the water again before heading to the closet and grabbing my clothes. "Yes you did," I say. "I nearly had to carry you down the hall, you could barely stand."

"Oh god," he says with a laugh. "Did I say anything stupid?"

I shake my head as I pull on my clothes. "Not that I remember. Thankfully we were both too drunk to remember if we made fools of ourselves." I finish dressing and move over to sit next to him on the bed, handing him a muffin. I take a bite.

"But I wasn't too drunk to forget the main event," he says with a grin.

I roll my eyes. "You wouldn't," I tell him, but I'm smiling. "How's your head?"

He shrugs. "I'll probably get some pain meds from the infirmary when we head down."

I finish off my muffin and take a sip from his cup. "How about you take a shower and I'll see if I can get us more food?" I say. "After eating the food back in the city, I'm kind of craving some real food. Don't get me wrong, these are great, but I want a burger."

Tobias laughs. "Me too. Maybe when he head back all of us can go to Dauntless and eat some real food."

"That sounds great," I say with a smirk kissing his cheek. "I'll be back up once I find some food. Go shower."

I get up to go and he grabs my arm, pulling me back toward him and kisses me softly. I smile against his lips. "No distractions," I tell him, yanking my arm away from him.

"All right fine," he tells me.

"I'll be back," I tell him as I leave the room, shutting the door behind me.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. I was having muse issues and writing for Heard Your Voice.**

**TOBIAS**

When I get out of the shower, Tris is not in the room, so I get changed and head downstairs and find everyone back in the dorms. They're all talking quieter than they normally would, which makes me believe that they've got a headache like I do. I nod at Christina and Caleb who are huddled together on a cot looking through a book, about what; I'm not sure, since I'm too far away to read the title on the cover page. I don't see Tris, so maybe she's found some food somewhere else. I leave the room and head down the hallway. I pass Matthew in the hall and his nose doesn't look pretty. I smirk, noticing the damage that Tris has done and he points down the hallway as we make eye contact. After that, he almost runs down the hallway in the opposite direction. I'm amused because even though I was used to people being scared of me back at Dauntless…this was a different set up. Things were not the way they were back in the city. The faction system didn't exist out here. It shouldn't have existed in the first place, but there's no changing the past. Things are definitely different now and I'm looking forward to making decisions for myself. I don't need anyone else telling me how to live my life or making my decisions for me. I know what I want and even though I don't know how I'm going to spend the rest of my life, I know that it's going to be with Tris. No matter what anyone else tries to tell me.

I enter the room where Matthew pointed and see the monitors that show the different camera set ups around the city. Tris is sitting in a chair and her eyes are flicking from screen to screen, her fingers on the keypad changing the angles, the rooms. She looks good there….like she knows what she's doing. Like she's got it all figured out. At least that would make one of us. I know that I'm smart, but work wise, I don't know what I've got planned. Did I really want to work for the Bureau? Or is there a job waiting for me back in the city? I sit in a chair and roll over next to her. She looks at me with a grin and kisses me.

"Hey, I'm sorry," she says. "I was looking for food, but I passed this room and I saw Matthew and I reminded him about our agreement and I stood here, watching him get rid of the cameras in our homes. Everyone here…their homes, they won't be watched anymore. You know, in the case that we go back."

I shake my head. "it's fine," he said. "It's good for me to get out of the room anyway. Stretch my legs, get some fresh air. Do normal people things." I scoot the chair in closer to the desk and began scanning the screen looking for signs of anyone that I know…of someone who can have an update of what is going on in the city right now.

She smiles. "I think we should go back," she says. I turn to look at her, and she's not looking at me. Instead she's looking down at her fingers and playing with the skin at the end of her nail beds. "After yesterday…the thing with Matthew…I don't know if we belong here anymore."

I turn my chair away from the desk so that I'm facing Tris, placing my hands on her thighs. She looks up at him. "What's going on?"

"It doesn't feel right here. Like a home," Tris says. "When we were back at the city, in my parents' home and even back at the Dauntless Compound, they felt more like home than here. We don't even have rooms here. We don't have belongings or clothes to change into. We don't have the things that makes us, us." She pauses and shakes her head. "The thing in, I'm not sure if they all want to come back. A lot of shit went down in the last couple of months. What if they think that they won't be forgiven or that life will be different? I mean we can show them the monitors but I doubt that's going to make them feel any safer. It's a huge invasion of trust and trying to convince them to come back…"

"Hey," I say, moving my hands up and placing them on her cheeks. "It's not up to us…we don't make their decisions for them. That's not up to us anymore. We're not leading them. They have free will here and they'll have free will back in the city. If they choose to stay, then they stay. If they choose to come with us, then they come with is. But right now…you don't have to worry about it. It's not like we have to leave right away. There's nothing forcing us to leave or stay or anything."

Tris nods and he moves in to kiss me. I kiss her back and when she breaks the kiss she rests her head against mine. "I think we should have a meeting today. Tonight, when everyone comes back from whatever they're doing we'll talk to them about maybe going back and tell them about the cameras," she says. "We'll see about getting them taken down or putting up false images or something so that they don't know they're not controlling us anymore."

I smile at her. "Look at you, leading the revolution."

She pushes my arm. "Shut up."

She turns back to the monitors. "By the way, I saw this…" She hits a button and pulls up a screen that shows Evelyn in her office. "And I was wondering if maybe we should try again with her."

Evelyn's going through papers but as I press my fingers to the screen to zoom in, it looks like she's crying. The last time we watched her from here, she was in the same place, looking nostalgic, looking reminiscent. I wonder if she's taken back what she'd said to me about my proposal to Tris. If…no _when_ we go back, we'll have to deal with her. The city isn't quite so big that we will be able to avoid her forever. I look at Tris, registering what she said.

"Are you sure?" I ask her. "After what she said…what she insinutated…"

"I know," she says shaking her head. "But between her and Marcus, she's the only family you have left. I would rather put my trust in a woman who hates me than that coward of a man," she says. "But you and I are going to get married. We're going to have a family and if she can't deal with it, then whatever. But I don't want to give up without trying a little bit."

I nod and move to kiss her again. "You're amazing, you know that?"

She smiles. "Only because you tell me every day."


	29. Chapter 29

**TRIS**

That night we meet up in the dorms and everyone is gathered around us. Tobias is standing behind me and I'm in the center of the room. Everyone is looking at me. And even though I've arranged this meeting, having everyone staring at me is a little unnerving. I take a breath and my eyes find Caleb and Christina who are sitting together on a cot and I can't help but smile a little when I see them. They look good together: happy. I cleaned my throat.

"Okay, so you're all probably wondering what I gathered you here for," I say, slowly. The group nods. "Well…as some of you may know, Tobias and I went back to the city and we stayed for a couple of days. We kept to ourselves mostly, but it was nice _Really_ nice, you know? To have a home again. To not feel like we had to run…or that our lives were on the line." I smile, because that feeling had been nice. Feeling safe…I hadn't felt it so strongly since I was in Abnegation, long before the Choosing Ceremony, long before I turned sixteen and my life awaited me. Things are different now and even though we've been through a lot of shit, I'm glad for it. I'm glad for the challenge; I'm up for the fight. I lick my lips and look around the room. They're all staring at me. _Get to the point_, I tell myself. I swallow. "Tobias and I…we're going back to the city," I say. "And this time it's for good."

Whispers fill the room as people turn to each other and I hold up my hands. "Hang on, let me explain," I say. They don't stop and the whispers grow louder. "Guys, please…"

"Shut up and listen!" Tobias yells, his voice booming over the group. With him standing behind me, I even wince a little. He certainly has that quality about him. He speaks and people are going to listen to him. I turn to look at him and he offers me that half smile of his that I'm crazy for. He nods at me to continue.

I turn back. "Ever since we arrived here…I felt like something was off…wrong…and I wasn't wrong. The whole thing with damaged genes or perfect genes and all the stupid shit that is going on out here, everywhere outside of the city walls…it's stupid. I don't care what's going on inside of your bodies. Genetically you might be damaged, but that's okay. Because you're still you and you're all still people I care about. Screw the Bureau."

My eyes find Christina and she grins at me and so I take that as a sign that I'm doing okay up here. I never thought that I would have to do the whole "speech thing." Talking in front of people wasn't really and Abnegation thing…nor was in Dauntless. But here I was, Divergent, in front of my friends…my family and I was going to give them a choice. This in turn, would be like another Choosing Ceremony. Choose where you _truly_ belong. Be who you are and not what you think you should be. Didn't Jeanine say those exact words to me once? But that wasn't really a choice. This though, _this_, was a choice. I wasn't going to force anyone into doing what they didn't want them to do. This is up to them.

"Tobias and I are going back. But for those of who may be a little wary about going back to the city, it's not as bad as it was. And though, like I said we didn't really see a lot of it, but we weren't in any danger. We could go back and make a home. With what we know, the knowledge that we've gained her, we can take it back with us and we can build up another society. A _working_ society where it's based off of who you are instead of who you're _not_ supposed to be. A society can't function like that."

"And who's going to lead us in this new society?" Amar's voice comes from the corner of the room, so I have to turn to look at him. His voice is deep and it fills the entire room. He had run away from a society that had worked against him once before…all of us had. Who's the say that it will not happen again?

"That can all be discussed at a later time. I don't know how it's going to work out, but I know that eventually we can work it out. Because all of us together…I've never seen a more capable group of people," Tobias says coming up next to me and take my hand.

I'm grateful for the save, and for his hand, because I didn't have an answer for him. Not really. Because to be honest, I hadn't even thought about it. I had the idea of going back and recreating a society that would actually work out, but I had no idea who would lead us. I just wanted to go and live and do things right this time. Right by everyone…right by me. I have to at least try.

"Are there homes for us?" George asks. "Are we even safe to return?"

"There's no fight. Those of you who come back, I'm more than sure you'll be welcomed back. People mourned you," I say looking at him. "They mourned the both of you." My eyes find Amar and he nods at me. "Now I'm not trying to force you guys into anything. You're free to make your own decisions. This is your choice. It's your choice if you want to stay or if you want to go." I run my free hand through my hair and shrug. "But we're leaving at the end of the week and you're all welcome to come with us."

I let out a breath and offer a smile at the group before pulling my hand from Tobias' and leaving the room. I don't know if he has anything to add or to say to the group, but I don't. I'm done. I don't like goodbyes. Goodbyes are dangerous. Once I'm outside I shut the door to the dorms and I lean against the wall, letting my heart return to its normal beat. After a few minutes the door opens and Tobias emerges. I look at him and he smiles at me.

"You did great," He tells me kissing my cheek.

"I rambled," I answer.

He chuckles. "It was fine. I especially like the part where you said 'Screw the Bureau.' It was a nice touch."

I laugh and push his arm and he pulls me against him. "Did they say anything?'

"They're deciding," he tells me. "Give them the rest of the week and if they stay, they stay, we can't force them."

"I know," I say resting my head against his chest. "But I want them to come back with us. Losing them….any of them…I don't know how well I'll handle it."

"You're stronger than you think you are, Tris," he says.

I look up at him. "You think so?"

"I know so."

I wrinkle my nose at him and he leans down to kiss me. "Is the end of the week okay?" I ask. "I know I kind of sprung that on you."

He shrugs. "I don't mind."

"Good," I tell him before pulling him down to kiss me again.


	30. Chapter 30

**TOBIAS**

We manage to keep our plan a secret from the members of the Bureau who were lucky enough to keep their memories. The ones that were lucky we didn't wipe away everything about them. I would have, if it seemed like a smart idea, but we needed people on our side to do what we did. We wouldn't have been able to get through it without Matthew's help. We even had had help from Nita, although asking for her assistance was dangerous in and of itself considering what she had planned the last time. And the consequences that had followed my actions when I blindly trusted her over something as stupid as a damaged genetic code were something that I could never take back. They would stay with and haunt me for the rest of my life. Part of me envied Peter for not knowing what he had been through, not experiencing the loss and the pain that he had gone through over the years. But if I had taken the serum, or if things had not gone the way that I planned, I would have forgotten loving Tris. And not loving Tris…or remembering her, would be like losing myself. I wouldn't be making the mistake of not trusting her again. I know who I stand with and what I'm fighting for. And it's not for a Bureau and a future that doesn't involve me.

At the end of the week, after Tris and I have packed up out things and put them in the duffel bag we brought back from the city, we head down to the main building. We make sure to stay quiet as we go, since we don't want to attract any unwanted attention. It's dark out, the sun hasn't risen yet because we decided that leaving in the middle of the night was better than during the day, so that it didn't raise any questions, or have to try to explain ourselves. We didn't really have a lot of time to waste, considering we were stealing the trucks from the government. I can feel how nervous Tris is, because her hand is shaking in mine as we make it outside. I wonder what she's more nervous about: heading back to the city for good, or the possibility that Caleb won't be coming back with her. Either way, I squeeze her hand and she looks up at me, offering me a smile. .

Once we make it outside, I see that it's snowing again and in the moment I realize just how beautiful it really is. Before, I never appreciated the winter, the beauty of the snow, because I wasn't outside nearly enough to enjoy it. Now I had time and everything was different now. I could experience new things, and with Tris, everything was better. Colors were brighter, tasks had more meaning, things were just important with her. I understand that that isn't out a man should talk, but it's how I feel about her. Ever since she came into my life she changed everything about me. Or maybe she didn't…she just brought the dormant part of me out and that part is way better than who I was before. I definitely prefer myself this way.

I look down at my watch and it's about a quarter to three in the morning, which is when we told the group we were going to go and I grab the gun from the duffle and stow it under my shirt before throwing the bag into the bed of the truck. I lean back against the door, pulling my jacket in tighter to help fight the chill of the snow. Tris run her fingers through her hair and begins pacing.

"It's going to be okay," I tell her.

She looks at me. "What if Caleb doesn't come with us?" she asks me. "I don't even know what's going on between him and Christina, but what if him staying means she says too? Or the other way around. I can't lose the both of them."

I reach an arm out so that I can grab her hand and pull her closer to me. "Hey," I tell her, kissing her forehead. "It'll be fine," I say. "After what happened here, I don't think that either of them would _want_ to stay."

"But what about what happened in the city?"

I shrug. "Things are different now. You've seen it, I've seen it," I say. "And they'll see it when we get back. They trust you, Tris."

"But what if they don't?"

I place my hands on her cheeks and look down at her. "They'd be crazy not to."

She smiles at me and takes in a breath before closing the distance between our lips. "God I love you," she whispers when she pulls away.

"I love you."

She wraps her arms around me and rests her head on my chest while we wait. The warmth is quite welcome to me and I feel like I could stay like this forever. If things were different; if we should stay. But then I hear a shout and I open my eyes and look toward the door. Matthew is coming through followed by Nita, who last I had heard was still in the infirmary. But it looks like she's walking just fine now. They're followed by a few more employees, the muscle and I clench my jaw as I step away from Tris reaching behind me carefully for the gun.

"Where are you guys going?" Matthew asks, narrowing his eyes at us.

I'm surprised that he's even leading this…whatever it is. After what had happened earlier this week he should know not to cross us. But then I guess that's why he brought backup.

"We're going back to the city," Tris says.

He looks amused. "Why?"

"Because it's our home," Tris answers.

"It's not real," he tells her. He stops about ten feet away from us but that doesn't stop me from wrapping my fingers around its handle, ready to draw it at any second.

"It's real to us," I answer. Matthew looks over at me and narrows his eyes at me. I do the same. "It's our home, and you can't stop us from leaving."

He smirks at me. "Are you sure about that, Tobias?"

"I'm pretty sure," I tell him. "Did they have years of Dauntless training?" I ask him. "Because I have and I'm fairly certain that I can kill them all."

I look over at Tris, who is glaring at Matthew and Nita, and the look on her face is one of annoyance and anger. I know it well and I can't stop myself from grinning.

"What do you plan to do there?" Nita asks. "Work security detail for the rest of your life? Go back to the way things were before? When you didn't even matter?"

She's antagonizing Tris…she knows that she gets under her skin and she's trying to get a rise out of her. And by the way the muscle in her temple is pulsing, it's working. I've seen Tris snap before…and as tiny as she way, she could hold her own in a fight. I had no doubts about that.

"Are you sure about that, Nita?" Tris asks, her voice hard. "Because we can settle this right now if you want."

Nita grins. "Oh I'm sure."

My fingers tighten around the gun's handle and I glance over at Tris, who looks like she is ready to fight. I am about to speak when bullet hits the ground on front of us. Tris and I jump back and look up; I've drawn the gun and point it upward. The guys that had come out with Nita nad Matthew weren't armed so they can't really do anything if there _is_ an attack.

"Stop!" a voice calls out. Is that…Caleb? On top of the building? "Don't shoot."

"Caleb?" Tris calls out. "What are you doing up there?"

"Saving you," he answers. "We'll be right down."

I can't imagine what was going through Caleb's head that he had been trained enough with that gun to _not_ hit any of us. But he didn't. And I was grateful for that. I turned to glance at Tris before looking at Matthew and Nita, my gun still aimed at them. They don't move; they don't speak. What else can they do at this point? I don't know who all is coming down right now, but if Caleb is coming, I'm sure that means Christina is coming and if Christina is coming then Tris can relax for a bit. And when Tris is relaxed, so am I. I worry too much about her to not be stressed when she is. We need to be on the same page to make this relationship work. No more secrets, no more lies, no more pretending that's we're fine when we're obviously not. A marriage can't work that way.

The men don't move and neither do Nita or Matthew as the doors to the Bureau open and Caleb emerges from it with Christina following. She's got her bag hanging off of her shoulder and behind her I see Peter and Cara with them. A few moments later I am surprised to see Amar and George. I assumed that since they had been there for so long that they wouldn't want to leave. But I guess it makes sense considering everything that the Bureau stands for. I look over at Tris for her reaction and she is as surprised as I am that they're all coming back to the city with us. I'm not quite sure how we'll explain Amar and George's sudden reappearance, but we'll do the best we can I guess. Tris takes the gun from Caleb and aims it at Nita and Matthew. The group tosses their things in the back of the truck. Instead of getting in, they stand around watching. I don't really blame them, I wouldn't want to miss this either.

"You're going to go back inside," she says. "And this never happened. The trucks went missing. That's is. Better yet, you should just take the memory serum and forget everything. We're not coming back and we're no longer a science experiment for you."

They start to back up, heading toward the building. "I don't think that'll be necessary," Matthew says nervously. Taking the serum would mean losing everything All of the research they've done over the years would just be gone.

"What do you think, Tobias?" Tris asks me. I glance at her, a half smile on my lips.

"I don't know," I say shaking my head, my voice taking on a teasing tone. "After what he pulled with the cameras, I feel like memory loss isn't really justice enough."

Matthew's eyes widen. "I said I was sorry about that!" he exclaims. "And I shut down the cameras!"

"The first part is not true. You didn't really apologize. Or explain, but I'm thinking that the fact you're just a major creep explains it," Tris says. "But you _did_ shut down the cameras."

He nods. "I did, I swear."

Nita shakes her head. "Are you serious right now?" she asks. "What the hell were you planning Matthew?" she snaps at me. "Come out here with no weapons? Are you really that stupid?"

She reaches behind her and pulls out a gun, but I shoot first. But as she falls there is a second shot that rings out and I immediately jump in front of Tris just in case the bullet heads her way. After a few moments, I look up from the ground and see that Matthew is looking over Nita who is on the ground screaming. Matthew looks over at us.

"It went straight through," he says. "Take her inside," he tells the men. They pick her up and carry her inside.

There is a ringing in my ears and I swallow before getting back up to my feet. I wasn't shot, and I don't know where the bullet went. I look at Tris before looking at the rest of the group. It's selfish, I know but I'm not sure what I would do if she was shot again. Or if it was fatal. I turn to Matthew.

"You're going to go inside," I tell him. "And we're going to leave. And none of this happened. You're going to have to find some way to explain why Nita has a gunshot wound."

Matthew nods and I can see that he's shaking. "Of course," he says. "Nothing happened." I nod at him and then he takes off running back into the building. There is blood on the snow where Nita had been shot. The contrast is actually quite beautiful, but then I think about the fact that I had caused it. It was in defense. And not as bad as what she could have done to us.

I take a breath before turning the safety back on and turn around to face everyone again. "Everyone good?" I ask, looking around before my eyes find Tris' face. She's smiling at me and I reach over to take her hand.

"We're good," Amar answers.

I smile. "Good. Let's go home."


	31. Chapter 31

**TRIS**

We're going home. I never thought that we would all be going back…together. I at least expected there to be some kind of obstacle that we'd have to face before getting what we all wanted. Granted, Matthew and Nita trying to stop us without the use of weapons was their idea of an obstacle, but for us, who had been trained to fight, we knew better. So much had happened since the day of the Choosing Ceremony. So many people had died and we had lost our friends, our family, our basic rights had been taken away from us because of what we knew. It was a knowledge that the leaders of the city could not afford us to have. The very idea of not being able to control everyone was devastating to them so they attacked. I guess we're lucky now that Jeanine is dead though. Her ideals were what brought us this destruction in the first place. My hand is in Tobias' as he drives one of the trucks back toward the city. I can feel my heart beat a little faster as we get closer and closer to the gates and I feel Tobias squeeze my hand. I turn to look at him and he offers me a smile.

"You okay?" he asks me.

"Yeah," I tell him. "Just a little nervous."

"Why?"

I shrug. "This isn't just like a visit," I tell him. "This is permanent. We're actually going home. All of us," I smile. "There's nowhere else for us to go now."

"We don't need to go anywhere else, Tris," Christina says from the backseat. I turn to look back at her and grin. "This is home."

"Home." I repeat before turning back around to look out of the window again. I bite my lower lip as I see figures standing by the entrance of the gate. "What is that?"

I sit up a little higher in my seat, squinting as I try to look past the heavy snowfall. "Is that…?"

"My mother," Tobias says through gritted teeth. I swallow. I guess I do have a reason to be nervous.

"What is she doing here?" Caleb asks from the back.

"I don't know," Tobias says killing the engine on the car. "But we're about to find out."

We all get out of the car, pulling our jackets tighter around us to help with the chill and after getting our bags from the back, we walk toward Evelyn and the men standing behind her. From the way she's standing, her arms down at her sides, and the expressionless look on her face, I'm not sure if this is dangerous or if this is a welcoming committee. But whatever this is, Evelyn's eyes are locked on mine. Something about that woman has always been off to me, and I think it was because I was always afraid of what she could do to me. Tobias' hand finds my own and I squeeze it to give him some comfort. Though I'm sure the comfort is mostly for me than it is for him. I take a breath as I hear the doors to the other truck shut and the others come up behind us. No one speaks and I'm not sure if it's out of fear or if it's because we don't quite know what to say. I lick my lips and look up at Tobias.

"What is this?" he asks, his voice hard, but soft enough around the edges so that she knows it isn't a threat.

Evelyn looks from me to Tobias. "Tobias," she says, her voice soft, and the expression on her face changing. "Are you back? For good this time?"

He nods. "We're back," he says. "All of us. Are we welcome?"

Evelyn nods and smiles. "I apologize for my actions the last time we met, " she says. "I was not accepting of the situation."

"You're right; you weren't," he says. "How are you feeling now?"

She pauses and glances at me. "I'm beginning to understand."

I don't realize that I'm holding my breath until she says that. I feel a weight lift off of my shoulders and I relax a bit in my stance. Tobias squeezes my hand and I feel myself nod. It's going to be okay. Evelyn comes toward us and Tobias moves to hug her. I look back at the group, who looks tense, but that's only because they don't know exactly what's been going on. Some of them weren't a part of the rebellion and some of them were, but they just didn't know everything that went on behind the scenes. I wonder if they want to know or if it even matters anymore. Even though the battle is over, and the dust has settled, it still happened. It still matters. Eventually we will share the knowledge with the cit so that we don't end up repeating past mistakes.

Evelyn looks up at the group and lifts a hand gesturing to the gates. "Welcome home," she says to them. "Tris."

I turn to look back at her and I meet her eyes. She's smiling at me and it's strange considering our previous interactions. "Yes?"

"Welcome to the family," she says. I look at Tobias, but the only thing he has to offer is a smile. I look back at Evelyn and hug her back. It's brief, but the meaning is lasting.

"Thank you," I say, taking Tobias' hand again.

"You're free to bring your trucks into the city instead of taking the train if you wish."

I shake my head. "I prefer the train," I say, lifting my shoulders in a half shrug.

"Whatever you like," she says. "I'll have one of my men take in the truck for you, just in case you're looking to use it again."

"Thank you," Tobias says.

Evelyn nods at us before turning and heading back toward her men. I look at up Tobias. "That was surreal," I tell him.

He grins and pulls me into a kiss. "Whatever that was, she's in a better mood," he says. "Let's not look a gift horse in the mouth."

I nod and turn back to the group again. "Let's head to the train!"

I break away from Tobias and start running toward the gates. The train is stationary at the moment, so there's no reason to chase after it. I toss my bag on before following it and I sit down in the last car resting my head back against the wall. Christina follows me and sits down next to me. I look over at her.

"We're back where we started aren't we?" she asks.

I smile. "It's not so bad," I tell her "Things are different now. Better. Safer."

"Where am I gonna live?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. But Tobias and I had stayed in my family's old place when we were here. I didn't really talk about that with Caleb. He might want to stay there."

"Stay where?" Caleb asks as he gets onto the train. He sits next to Christina and I don't miss the way their hands move together like magnets. "

"Our old home," I say. "Do you want to live there?"

"Where will you live?"

Tobias is one of the last to get on the train, because he started it up again and the train is moving by the time he gets on. "We've got a place back at Dauntless."

Caleb looks at me. "Are you okay with that?"

I nod. "It's not like we'll never see each other again," I tell him. "Besides, there are some things in the house I may want to bring. I didn't go through mom and dad's room….but I was thinking that there might possibly be something there connecting to her old life. I want something to hold onto of them, you know?"

He nods and reaches over to squeeze my hand. "They'll never be gone," he says. "Not really."

I smile at him before turning back to look at Tobias. "You okay with staying back at Dauntless?" I ask him.

He grins. "Of course I'm okay with it," he says. "It's where I fell in love with you."

I smirk at him before leaning in to kiss him. "It's where _we _fell in love."

"Though we may need to move when we start our family."

"We'll work that out when we get there," I tell him.

"Alright, fair enough," he says wrapping an arm around me. I rest against his chest and close my eyes letting the breeze of the wind soothe me.

This is home.

**a/n: should I keep going?**


End file.
